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Covid-19 Update for November 24: 1,115 new cases, 916 recoveries, 16 deaths + Announced Restrictions to Limit Covid-19 Spread
Data is taken from the Covid-19 portal and today's media availability by Premier Jason Kenney, Minister of Health Tyler Shandro, and Dr Deena Hinshaw. Minister of Eduation Adriana LaGrange, Deputy Minister of Eduation Andrew Courbold, and AHS CEO Verna Yiu were also present, but did not speak. Dr Hinshaw will be available every day this week. There are currently enhanced measures in effect for multiple regions of Alberta. This link provides a quick summary of which ones are in effect for different regions of Alberta. Top line numbers:
For values where "Current" and "Total" are the same, I have left results under Total
Value
Current
Change
Total
Total cases
—
+1,115
49,536
Active cases
13,349
+183
—
Cases with "Unknown source"
7,538 (88.0%) in last 7 days
+168 (-1.6%)
—
Tests
—
+13,617 (~8.19% positive)
2,141,346
People tested
—
+5,871
1,426,119 (~330,350/million)
Hospitalizations
349
+20/+15 based on yesterday's post/portal data
1,652 (+31)
ICU
66
+4/+1 based on yesterday's post/portal data
298 (+5)
Deaths
—
+16 (3x 60-69, 70-79, 10x 80+)
492
Recoveries
—
+916
35,695
Spatial distribution of people tested, cases, and deaths (since yesterday):
All other values are compared with respect to yesterday
Zone
Active Cases
New People Tested
Total
New Cases
Total
New Deaths
Total
Calgary
4,903 (+58)
+2,501
576,317
+426
20,609
+0
186
Central
830 (+18)
+558
122,306
+65
2,175
+2
14
Edmonton
5,991 (+512)
+1,921
476,491
+541
19,692
+14
208
North
764 (+16)
+615
136,174
+79
3,343
+0
44
South
640 (-15)
+235
91,712
+31
3,559
+0
40
Unknown
75 (-31)
+41
23,119
-27
158
+0
0
Spatial distribution of cases for select cities and regions (change since yesterday) (cities proper for Calgary and Edmonton):
City/Municipality
Total
Active
Recovered
Deaths
Calgary
17,106 (+367)
3,884 (+105)
13,053 (+262)
169 (+0)
Edmonton
16,311 (+427)
4,815 (+114)
11,306 (+299)
190 (+14)
Brooks
1,271 (+4)
46 (+2)
1,212 (+2)
13 (+0)
Lethbridge
886 (+4)
171 (-5)
708 (+9)
7 (+0)
Fort McMurray
626 (+17)
158 (+11)
466 (+6)
2 (+0)
High River county
600 (-1)
29 (-2)
564 (+1)
7 (+0)
Grande Prairie
444 (+2)
78 (-4)
362 (+6)
4 (+0)
Mackenzie county
428 (-1)
8 (-2)
409 (+3)
13 (+0)
Red Deer
425 (+12)
141 (+0)
284 (+12)
0
Medicine Hat
228 (+9)
103 (+2)
123 (+7)
2 (+0)
I.D. No 9 (Banff)
186 (+5)
152 (+0)
34 (+5)
0
Cardston county
156 (+1)
34 (+1)
117 (+0)
5 (+0)
Wheatland county
138 (+2)
23 (-4)
115 (+6)
0
Wood Buffalo municipality
100 (+3)
27 (+1)
73 (+2)
0
Warner county
98 (+1)
17 (+1)
80 (+0)
1 (+0)
Rest of Alberta
10,533 (+263)
3,663 (-37)
6,791 (+298)
79 (+2)
Municipalities with 10+ active cases is given at this link Schools with outbreaks are listed online. Quick numbers (since yesterday):
65 schools are on Watch (+1)
117 schools have 2-4 cases (+3)
Spatial distribution of hospital usage (change based on yesterday's post):
Hospitalization zone are where the patient is receiving care, not zone of residence
Zone
Hospitalized
ICU
Calgary
115 (+10)
16 (+2)
Edmonton
169 (+6)
39 (+0)
Central
18 (+0)
3 (+1)
South
25 (+0)
5 (+0)
North
21 (+4)
3 (+1)
Statements by Premier Kenney Opening Statements
Pandemic is "once in a century" event that has affected everyone
Has received lots of heartbreaking/heartfelt letters and read some out of them in the meeting last night
Letters include concerns about family impacts and economic impacts, as well as the loss of life
Has phoned front line healthcare workers over weekend and sought out their advice
Has noted the hesitation of further restrictions before and focus on targeted measures. The vast majority of Albertans have worked to the guidelines
Spread is speeding up and is significant at long term care. We need to do "everything we can" to protect them. That requires dedicated work from the community
Must also protect healthcare system. Healthcare system is at risk, and Edmonton Zone is an example of the trade offs that now must be made. Other services will have to be put on hold if the trend continues, even with the spending in it
Measures below were not taken lightly. These are the "minimum restrictions needed" right now to protect healthcare system and avoiding widespread damage to livelihoods
New Measures
Declaring a State of Public Health Emergency in the province of Alberta
Series of mandatory measures also approved:
For social gatherings: No indoor social gatherings will be permitted in any setting and outdoor social gatherings will have a limit of 10 people
For funerals and weddings: 10 in-person limit and no receptions will be permitted
Social events have been one of the biggest driver of cases. Weddings and funerals are one of the biggest widespread drivers of transmission ("This is just a reality")
These social gathering restrictions are province-wide and can be subjected to fines
An emergency alert will be sent to all Alberta phones this week to make Albertans aware
Gatherings of worship services will be capped of 1/3 of Fire Code with mandatory masking if region is under enhanced status. This is now mandatory. This will be evaluated mid-December
Effective Friday, for regions under enhanced status, three temporary restrictions will be added at businesses and services:
(1) The following will be closed: banquet halls, conference centres, trade shows, concert venues, community centres. All levels of sport too, but must apply and have an approved exemption
(2) Retail businesses and services will be limited to 25% of occupancy limit
(3) Hair salons, personal wellness services, hotels, and professional services will be limited by-appointment
In-person dining and bars can continue, but must abide by guideline. Each dining tables will be limited to 1 household
Asking all workers that can work from home to do so. Government of Alberta will do so
These will be reviewed in mid-December
On November 30th, Grades 7-12 will end in-person schooling for 2020 and Winter break will begin December 18. In-person learning will be delayed until January 11, 2021
Closing Statements
Effective immediately, masks are mandatory in Edmonton and Calgary Zone
The measures are tough, but necessary to protect Albertans from a "crushing lockdown"
Knows this will be hard and encourages people to shop local
Will give a chance to review before Christmas
If the measures do not have meaningful impact, further restrictions will be made in December
Q&A - Announced Restrictions
Alberta has had some of the least stringent measures and highest cases rates. Is today's announcement that it failed? Why are we doing the "minimum"?: Thinks the response has been effective for a long stretch of time. Obviously an issue has cropped up in the past few weeks. Also notes a "chase after 0 [cases]" shutdown won't be the goal and that restrictions and interventions, in accordance with Charter of Rights, should be limited to minimizing infringement of rights to achieve a goal
How will you enforce gathering restrictions?: No "snitch line", but will be expanding enforcement officers (Level 1 and 2 peace officers) to enforce orders and writing the tickets (up to $1,000/person). Anticipates officers will see if obvious "large gathering signs" will be noticed
How is in-person dining not "indoor gatherings"? How do you feel about doctors recommending closing in-person dining?: Notes dining is one household and limited spread in dining centres and asks those with a secure paycheck ("particularly a government paycheck") to think about those who sink life savings in dining services
Why are stores being restricted if they are not a significant cause of spread?: Compares well to other provinces who have fully closed retail. Thinks it was a grave mistake to allow big box stores to remain open because they had grocery/pharmaceutical sections while small businesses must close. That said, restrictions must be made to limit social spread
Due to challenges with Albertan spread information, what data is being used to make the decisions?: Points to data from previous 8 months
Are you confident that these measures will control cases by December 15?: Yes. Notes the challenging balance between infringement of rights and controlling cases. Also hopes this will be a "wake up call" to those not following the guidelines
(Interjection - I felt this was important and it needs to be separated from the above question). Kenney recognizes he will get quite a few people "on [his] Facebook page" angry at the restrictions. Wants to emphasize this is not a lockdown. Nor is this an abstraction. If you know someone waiting for surgery, this is to protect them. It's not about politics, but for them. It's not something he wants to do and is upset about the situation. But it's not enough to complain. Challenges people to explain how to grapple with timely healthcare access if Covid continues to spread and more need care
Q&A - Future Restrictions
How bad will it have to be to announce a lockdown?: Would like to avoid it if possible. Key metric will be hospitalization (in particular, ICU), measured against capacity. (Interjection - The wording of the rest of the response was focused on more targeted measures if these restrictions do not limit spread within 3 weeks)
Are there specific thresholds for lift measures/add more measures?: On 15th of December, reproductive value (R) must be <1 to lift measures. Ideal target is 0.80. We are currently at 1.3 in Edmonton, 1.1 in Calgary
Q&A - Other
Where is Alberta when it comes to vaccine and rapid testing?: Alberta depends on the federal government. Notes disappointment in the slow roll out of rapid testing (though 577,000 tests have been delivered). Hopes to announce more roll out details in the week. For vaccine, Oxford trial has also headed to mass production (giving Canada 3 incoming vaccines). When it arrives, will likely begin with healthcare workers and vulnerable populations
Statements by Minister Shandro Further details on the above guideline
Indoor social contact should be limited to you household. If you live alone, you may have two non-household social contacts
Indoor social gathering gatherings doesn't apply to home based services
Funeral/wedding gathering limits can result in $1,000 fine, up to $100,000 through courts
Additional details for restaurants/bars/pubs/lounges: Must follow 4 points: (1) 6 person/table limit, all from one household, (2) same note as above for single person household (and limited to the same two people), (3) only seated eating/drinking allowed, (4) no other services are allowed (e.g. billiards/darts)
Encourages takeout/delivery/curbside pick up when possible
Enhanced screening of measures will begin
Retail services extends to bingo halls, fitness, pools, etc. No group fitness is allowed, nor team practice or games
Casinos can be open for slots only and follow the liquor laws of bars and casinos
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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OC Tournament #5 - Round 1, Match 2: Peter VS Markus
Well, the last match was a deathmatch, but this second one is what is known as an objective match. This, for the uninitiated, means that the match’s main point isn’t, necessarily, who would win in a fight, but to complete a certain specific mission better than the opponent. At the time of this match going up, though, after the strats for this one are posted, though, you can still vote in match 1 for over a full day. Check out (and influence) the brawl between a man and a bird in an airport hangar! Scenario: Waterfront District - One of Many Fish Markets Morning “What do you mean you don’t have anything?” *Markus was having his patience tested, certainly, by this particular supplier. It was hard to find someone in this region who could provide high-quality fresh fish at a reasonable price (especially considering that some of the fish the people of Los Fortuna considered "high quality" seemed to be overpriced, constantly out of stock, and of incredibly dubious quality from the rare few glimpses he had gotten of them), but this wasn’t the first time now that the boat he had chosen to be BADD GUYS’ regular ‘guys’ had turned up with absolutely nothing one morning. “I dunno what to tell you, Mark,” a young man in a bandana and sleeveless striped shirt said, hanging by an empty stall he was never told not to man, “sometimes, when the captain heads off to celebrate a great haul, she just disappears for days on end, and then without her, we just don’t always have what it takes to actually catch enough to turn a day’s profit.” “That damned Captain Moonshatter…” Markus didn’t get it. The crew of the Marquise was supposedly able to accomplish such things, yet still the captain wasted her time gambling instead of leading them to their potential? Leading them towards all these amazing fish? “Where is she, man? I’ll give her a piece of my mind.” “A casino, probably, but… Ya know how many casinos are out here? And she never tells us where she frequents! If she did, the boys and I woulda dragged her out a long time ago!” “I know where you can find her.” A man in a dark rain poncho, pretty typical attire for this district, spoke, eyes obscured but some of his dark hair cascading out from underneath the thing. The hapless sailor and Markus turned to him, looking quizzical but expecting, before Markus broke the silence. “There is nothing that isn’t shady about you, sir, but.” Markus smirked. “I think shady is what I need right now. What have you got?” Fwup! Before Markus knew it, the stranger had flicked his hands, and a stylish business card was in between Markus’ fingers. He looked at it, then, and read the name embroidered upon it. “Heartache Casino… Interesting.” “She likes to go around in disguise on her gambling trips, sometimes as elaborate as a fat suit and a fake beard so nobody recognizes her. Only surefire way you’ll have to get her out of there is to get everyone out of there. If she’s there, she’ll get pissed off and blow her cover, for sure.” Markus wasn’t an idiot, even if what he caught onto being suggested didn’t bother him. “…someone wants me to mess with this casino, huh? Well, none of my business, as long as she’s actually there. If not, I’m kicking your ass, got it?” “You have my word.” The man nodded his head, and then disappeared into the bustling fish market. That afternoon… Sound’s Garden Eastern Strip - Heartache Casino Arriving at the casino, Markus took a look around, taking in the bright lights, expressive designs, and loud sounds. There were so many people strewn around the casino, and just about any one of them could be the captain… Clearing them out was going to take time. He needed a drink. One irish coffee later, Markus was ready. He sat at a table in the lounge area, viewing the various (mostly drunk) casinogoers, trying to suss out which ones could end up being the captain. He was mostly unsuccessful. It seemed as if he would have to get his hands dirty and start actively kicking people out if he wanted to get anywhere. More importantly, over the course of his stay, Markus had noticed something - one of the waiters at the bar had begun eyeing him, always keeping watch of him for some reason. He was planning something, souring Markus’ mood. With a dissatisfied grunt, Markus got up and started making his way towards the slot machines to get a start on kicking people out, and the waiter seemed to follow in his steps. No matter the pace at which he went or where he went, the waiter seemed to be right there, a couple of steps behind him. Markus’ brow furrowed in anger. He’ll see just how far that waiter was willing to go to follow him. Even near the ATMs, far away from the bar area, the waiter seemed to be constantly following him. He even tried going to the restroom for a few minutes, and the waiter was still there when he- For all of his thinking about the waiter following him, something, or someone had crashed into him, and found himself knocked down onto the floor from the impact, covered in… water? Beer? Something. He looked up and saw another waiter, a worried expression on their face as they profusely apologized. A glance to the right, back at the original waiter, revealed that he was… smirking? Markus couldn’t quite make the waiter’s expression out, but one thing was for certain - he was taking joy in watching Markus stumble into the other waiter, and he had likely planned this. That asshole. Markus quickly got up, ignoring the apologetic waiter and began quickly making his way towards the other waiter, ready to give him a piece of his mind. He didn’t know why he did what he did or what he was planning, but he sure as hell was going to grill him until he told him that. Upon getting close enough to the waiter and coming up from behind him, Markus firmly grabbed his arm to keep him from running away again. “Hey, you. What do you want from me? Why were you following me, and what exactly do you stand to gain from doing this, huh?!” The waiter turned around, only to seem… entirely confused? “Sir, what are you talking about? I didn’t do anything - I don’t even know who you are, or why you’re here! I- I don’t want to make a scene, if you have any complaints you can bring them to my supervisors, just- I need to go back to the bar and bring food to the customers, you know? I-” “Bullshit. I noticed you! You were constantly keeping watch of me, following me- hell, I went to the fucking restroom and you were still there when I came out! Don’t give me these crocodile tears, I know you want something from me!” Just as the argument between Markus and the waiter began, someone else found their way into the casino - Peter Bequasimodo. Earlier that afternoon… Downtown Los Fortuna - Hotel Delmano Peter had stopped a fair few crimes in his day, not to mention done some less than legal things in others where the rule of law was the real crime. It was certainly strange, though, that someone had thought to send him a handwritten letter at some point… It seemed someone had realized before he could stop a crime, he had to find his way there. He read and reread the text again.
The Heartache Casino will see a tragic failure today… Nobody can do a thing to prevent it, so kiss everyone who sets foot in it goodbye! Think you can get everyone to leave by X:XX o’clock?!
Great, Peter thought to himself. Someone wants to play some stupid game with me… Just perfect. Just what I need when things are starting to heat up more. Despite his immediate thought of annoyance, though, he couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about this… Who sent letters in 202X? Who would send them to him? Peter was usually pretty careful to cover his tracks, and his usual mode of transportation made it so that not even the snoopiest detectives could track him down. Usually, he was able to use his more than capable skills to hack into the odd police database or private server, or simply use his stand to cut through so much crap, but with a letter, he couldn’t do any of that easy stuff. It would take some footwork to track down the source of this, let alone the location of this ‘Heartache Casino…’ Or, as an ally pointed out, he could just search up the letter’s return address online. “…urgh, what am I thinking? Of course they wouldn’t actually give where they were sending this from if they wanted to stay this mysterious! This damn place they wrote down is just…” He blinked, looking at his screen. “The Heartache Casino. That settles it, alright. I’m being baited.” Even if the threat was fake, just designed to get him to the casino, he would have to look into whoever had this much information on him… Seriously, who could have this level of knowledge when he’d barely done a thing in this city? Beyond that, in the off chance it wasn’t an empty threat, there was a serious danger to other people there. He needed to minimize the chances of that if he could. That time was less than an hour away. He walked over to his bed and grabbed his gauntlet and pack. In a flash [Running in the 90s] appeared on Peter’s face and he disappeared into the information superhighway. It was time for Treagon to take care of business. “You know,” Peter said, the mood he’d tried to psyche himself up for blending into the chill attitudes of the casino evaporating quickly, “it might not be much my business, buddy, but when I see people being shitty to service staff… That kinda thing really isn’t cool, yeah? Let the man do his job.” “Stay out of this,” Markus answered tersely, shoving the waiter away as the man backed off, returning to ordinary business, “you think I don’t know that sort of thing? I’m here as a favor to people like that.” There was a certain impatient entitlement to this guy that really bothered Peter, especially as he spoke like that. All the more, he was finding himself with reasons to kinda want to leave this guy crying and begging for mercy. “You’re really annoying, you know that?” He said, bluntly and with a sort of lax tone, grinning with malice as he stuck his hand in his pocket and leaned back. “I got business of my own to take care of, but don’t lemme catch you acting up like that again, yeah? It’s hard enough just scaring people off so I can look this place over… Shit! Barely half an hour left!” “Wait, you mean to say you’re also trying to-” The waiter happened to slink by, and after that moment, Peter was gone. Markus gave a confused look, but then, felt his own phone vibrating. Curious, he moved to open it up. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH!” “Ffuck-!” He couldn’t help but fumble his device in alarm at the strange face on the screen, which vanished soon after, and as he looked up, Peter was standing around again, and so Markus grit his teeth. “You..!” Peter, on his end, found the antagonism hilarious, and it was easy enough to accomplish that he felt good about the efforts therein. Now, anyway, it was time for him to get to work on finding a way to force everyone out of here… He’d been spending these few minutes searching, but couldn’t find any sign of any sort of electronic tampering, or security footage of someone stealthily dropping any bombs anywhere, or whatever else might make him able to solve this problem in any better a way than this… It was now exactly thirty minutes to the mystery time. He’d just have to get as many people to leave this place as possible, even as more constantly poured in. Markus had also heard Peter mention a half an hour, and though he didn’t know of any sort of vague threat, he had a feeling that that created a sort of ‘deadline’ for this. Well, he didn’t know what to look for, so may as well go for quantity over quality, right? He’d force these people out of here. Though both had the same end goal, the immediate shared contempt they held for one another, both immediately understood, had made this a contest. Never mind that they were far from the only two people who would see it as such, their prides were at stake here, and they resolved to completely show the other up as priority number one. Open the game! Location: The First Floor of The Heartache Casino, one of the many which dot the Eastern Strip of the Entertainment District. The area is 50 meters long and 105 meters wide with each tile being 5 by 5 meters and the ceiling being 5 meters high as well. The green square represents the exit and the gray square is the way to the second floor, currently it is being sectioned off by bouncers who are only letting VIPs enter and exit. The players are represented by the circles of their respective team colors with Markus near the top center and Peter near the bottom center. The grey circles around the center are ATM machines, and the white circle is a reception and transactions desk where you can buy or redeem chips. The two sets of blue tiles are restrooms, men’s restroom on the left and women’s restroom on the right. The left side is the lounge area with a bar, denoted by the brown shape, tables represented by green circles, pool tables represented by the purple rectangles, poker tables represented by the red circles and roulette tables represented by the light blue circles. In the top left is a netted off area represented by the hollow blue rectangle where people can play darts and to its right are two rows of vending machines with water in the blue squares and sodas in the purple. The blue rectangles, red triangles, and yellow hexagons are all rows and sets of slot machines. The blue ones are traditional slot machines, and the yellow and red ones are virtual slot machines. The blue slot machines pay out in chips and the yellow and red ones pay out in receipts that are redeemable at the reception desk, but all of them only take in money. There are chairs around the slot machines, tables, and bar where appropriate and the place at the moment is mostly full with gamblers, loungers, and a number of roaming security guards and employees. In general if you are looking for a free spot at a table or machine you can probably find one with a bit of looking. Someone has already disabled the floor’s sprinkler systems, and literally nothing will make them function. Curious. Goal: Over the course of thirty minutes, cause more people to leave the casino than your opponent! It can be taken for granted, for balance’s sake, that there will always be people present to disrupt so long as a location isn’t completely rendered unable to function. Make sure to have some subtlety with it, though, as the guards are as watchful as one would expect casino guards to be. Being too blatant or repetitive would run the risk of getting you in trouble. Additional Information: Patrons have 2 in strength and agility, 5 in endurance, 2 in gambling (in general they know how the games here work, but that doesn’t make them any more likely to succeed at them), and 2 in tenacity; in short, a mere mild inconvenience won’t be enough to completely send a person away, but they probably won’t tolerate repeated annoyances too long before at least moving somewhere else in the casino or outright leaving once they get fed up. They carry cell phones, wallets, and assorted amounts of casino chips. Ones on the West side of the floor can be assumed to be carrying food or beverages with them, according to the kinds of things one could expect to find at a casino. If your actions cause significant risk of harm or death to patrons, rather than simply getting them to leave through various means, police will be contacted to provide further support to the guards, quickly becoming wise to your tactics and arresting you; the owner is rich, so the cops will arrive extremely quickly. If you are arrested for assault, manslaughter, murder, public indecency, and/or accidental homicide, you will no longer be able to gain points. As wanton slaughter on casino grounds isn’t what your contact had in mind, murdered or otherwise slain patrons do not count towards total score, even if, yes, their souls have exeunt; paramedics will be under specific orders not to remove the bodies until after the time limit has passed, specifically to spite the attempt. And also you’re still arrested.
“I’ve heard that in Kansai, if the Yakuza who run Cee-lo Games catch you cheating, they shove two of the dice in your eyes and dump you in the river.” You really don’t like this guy much at all. If this man intends to undermine your protections, then you’ll teach him a lesson. Identify and find ways to interfere with your opponent’s strategies in favor of your own!
“Nobody makes a fool out of Kishibe Rohan! I know you’re laughing at me in your head right now and I can’t stand it!” You really don’t like this guy much at all. If he thinks he can be so self-important all the damn time, he has another thing coming! Identify and find ways to interfere with your opponent’s strategies in favor of your own!
I yell at my Mom to hurry up as she tries to recreate the pokerstars Team Pro patch on my Run It Once hoodie. She flinches and pricks her finger with the needle. lol dumb bitch I think to myself as I dunk my tendies into Chik Fil A sauce. Tonight is my live cash debut. I watched all of Doug's Polker (lol) hands. I read all the UpSwing articles and browse this sub religiously. I would be an online crusher if it weren't rigged and if the rake weren't so high. These live donks won't know what hit them. I finish my dinner and snatch my hoodie from my Mom. "Have fun playing with your friends," she says as she hugs me. I want to tell her there are no friends at the table. There are only Sharks and Fish and I'm a Mother Fucking Great White. Instead I take the opportunity to remove her debit card from the purse sitting at the table. My $400 bankroll might need a little assistance against the live variance. I slip on my RIO hoodie over my UpSwing tank top, then finish with a Favorable hat. I check my backpack and find everything I need for the upcoming grind: granola bars, power bank, sunglasses, wireless headphones, 2 big Monsters, and my preflop charts. I get on the subway (Mom needed the mini van for church) heading to Encore Boston Harbor. I feel all the eyes of the commuters on me. They've never seen a man like me before: 140 LBS all muscle and discipline. I DARE someone try to angle me today at the table. I will fucking delete them from existence. I finally arrive, and walk through the resort towards the Casino doors. A security guard in a Red Jacket stops me. He points at my bag, "You can't bring that inside." Immediately my eyes get hot and I try to quickly blink back the tears. I get ready to explain that I have a medical problem and the items in my bag helps reduce sensory overload and high-stress inducing-- "You can't bring those energy drinks inside sir." "Oh." I take my Monsters out of the side pockets and throw them in the bin. The Security Guard nods, "Welcome to the Encore." Wow, what an asshole. He gets a little authority and goes on a power trip. I scan the casino floor for the poker room and find the sign. I take the escalators up and approach the front desk. "Hi, I'd like to play 3NL." "I'm sorry, do you mean $1/3 No Limit?" the Manager replies. I chuckle. These morons have never played online where the real pros are. "Yeah, that's the same thing as 3NL. It's what we call it online." "Right. Do you have a card?" I hand over my Driver's License. "Uh no, a Red Card. Do you have a Red Card with us?" I can feel the tears forming again. I told my Mom to write down everything I'd need to play and of course she fucks it up. I need a Red Card to play and she didn't make me one. Can't even fucking trust family. The Manager sees my eyes water, "It's okay if you don't. We can have one made for you. What are your initials?" "J. Z." I'm gonna fool this room into thinking Jay Z is here LOL. "You're all set. It shouldn't be too long. You're number 4 on the list." "Thank you." 10 minutes later they call me and I sit down. Everyone is drinking except 1 Asian kid with a face mask. The goofy MAWG with a big stack (about 300BB effective) welcomes me to the table as I sit down to his left. "Look guys we finally got a pro to teach us how to play." I can see through his laughter that he's afraid of me. He realized a human PIO solver just got position next on him. Unfortunately for him, I'm not here to give lessons. I give the Chip Runner $100 (I figured out an unbeatable short stack strategy) and go to the bathroom to go over my preflop charts. When I return, 30 minutes later, my chips are there and I'm ready to play. First hand, I get JdJh UTG+1. MAWG straddled so I'm first to act. I try to go all in but my hands are shaking and I drop $40 in chips before it goes over the line and Asian pro calls string bet. Bet is $60. It folds to MAWG. "Why so much?" he asks. I don't say anything. I close my eyes and curse myself for not taking out my sunglasses earlier. "You have Jacks?" he continues. I make a mental note to protect my cards better because clearly this dickhead is peaking at my cards. MAWG folds. EZ game. I slide a Red bird to the dealer as she moves the pot towards me. Our hands touch. She thanks me for the tip and calls me honey. I'm fucking in. Definitely gonna smash that later. 1 hour later I'm in the BB with 6c6d. It limps to me and I check. Flop is 7s6h5s. Check, I check to trap, checks to CO who bets $10. BINGO. Folds to me, I make it $50, LJ calls, CO jams for $200, I call with my remaining $40, LJ tank calls. LJ covers. Turn Ad. River Ks. I groan. No one wants to show first and floor is called. CO shows 75o. I think my set of Sixes are good. LJ shows 4d3d. What a fucking slow roll. I rebuy, this time to the max $300. These guys clearly don't know how to play, and they'll make even more errors deepstacked. Asian pro opens to $15 from MP. Folds to me on the BU with AdAh. I think about how I'm going to mix. 12.5% raise to $30. 16.8% raise to 45, 25.7% raise to $60, and 52.3% Call. I run an RNG generator in my head and decide on a Call. Flop J43r. Asian pro Cbets $15. I run RNG again and call. Turn 9. Asian pro overbets $75. I tank and wince, pretending this is a tough spot. 5 minutes later I turn to the Dealer, "All In." Asian pro snap calls and shows KsKd. I wait. River 5. I show and Asian pro mucks. Fucking OWNED LOL. Everyone at the table tells me Nice Hand. They ask why I didn't 3bet. I remind them I could have but I have to balance my calling range. "If I had like Ace Five suited I would have 3bet to like $73 so his MDF is really hard. MDF is Minimum Defense Frequency by the way. I figured it out with PIO which is a Solver. I node lock the scripts and run the trees and it gives me a balanced GTO aggregate." The table gets quiet now. No one is talking anymore. I try to think of a way to liven up the table. I see the Player across from me order a sandwich and I yell "LOOSEY GOOSEY. LOOSEY GOOSEY.". Everyone looks at me weird. Fucking normies. Another hour later I'm UTG with AKs and I open to $15. Asian pro calls in CO. MAWG calls in BB. Flop Q98. Check, I CBet $30 to apply pressure. I have a range advantage and this is a great board for me if I have Aces or Queens. Asian pro and MAWG calls. Turn Q. Check, I barrel again for $100. I can have AQ and QQ. Call, Call. River 5. Check. I'm sweating and I feel like I want to throw up. But I have to continue the story. I rip it in. All In $455. Asian pro snap folds. EZ. MAWG tanks... and tanks... I can't stop shaking my feet and my mouth is dry. MAWG flips over his cards. KQs. "Is this good?" I give him absolutely nothing. My phone vibrates and I nearly shit myself. "Fuck it, I call." I don't show my cards and pretend I didn't hear him. "I said I call." I stare at my hands. The Dealer waves to me "He said call." I freeze up. I'm in shock. Asian pro asks for floor, and I sheepishly reveal my cards. AdKd. MAWG gets out of his seat mad as fuck "Fuck you man. You fucking piece of shit. You slow rolling fuck." I don't know what's going on. Dealer moves my card to the middle and announces "Nut Flush." and mucks MAWG's cards. BOARD: Qs9h8d Qd 5d Floor gets security and they remove MAWG from the Casino before I decide to give this fat ass a public beat down. It takes me 30 minutes to stack my chips. My hands are shaking from the adrenaline. I have $1310 in front of me. I want to leave but I don't want it to look like a hit and run. I check my phone and see my Mom's text.
I'm going to bed. Good night Sweetie.
Perfect. "Sorry guys, my girl texted me and she wants me home," I tell the table. No one says anything. I rack up and cash out. I wake up my Mom and tell her to pick me up. On the way home I tell my Mom about how I beat a table full of pro players and the sick hand against the Asian pro and MAWG. I open my wallet and show her all the Hundreds. She asks what her debit card is doing there and I lie and say she gave it to me. Old age is getting to her. All in all, a great session. I got in the streets and mixed it up and came out a Champion. Round 2 is coming soon, and this time I'm coming for the $2/5 shit regs.
Thanks to u/Kaimeera for posting all of the voice lines Here is every Madam Nazar voice line and my own/generally accepted interpretation of each one. With so many easter eggs packed into one cabinet, I believe this is Rockstar's biggest "hint dump" yet, and a clear indication they haven't given up on us mystery hunters. If I am wrong on anything or you know one I missed please let me know in the comments.
0x00408006 = ~z~Have you seen... Gavin? -Reference to the infamous NPC searching for Gavin across the world of RDR2.
0x01682558 = ~z~I see many shadowy figures, sent to kill you... -Could be a number of things. Many things come to kill you in both GTAV and RDR2, but I don't know what could be considered "shadowy", outside of the disappearing aliens in the Gunrunning easter egg.
0x02455C87 = ~z~I see a three-legged man. And a long-legged woman. And they are happy. -Lester and Georgina after the Casino Heist. The "third leg" is Lester's cane.
0x04026A1E = ~z~I see a... strange man in a tall hat. He frightens me. -The Strange Man that appears in both RDR and RDR2.
0x0BC2CA7C = ~z~I smell lupins. So many lupins, they fill the valley floor... -Lupins are flowering plants. There are many valleys and plains filled with them in RDR2.
0x0C906264 = ~z~Good, I have been waiting for you. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x0F60D1BE = ~z~I see a man. His name is... Johnny. He sits at home, but he longs to be on the spot again. -Reference to the GTA Online mechanic, who frequently refers to himself as "Johnny on the spot" when called.
0x1B98B32A = ~z~I see bitterness, and ambition, and madness. They shall all come to this city... -Reference to Michael, Franklin, and Trevor respectively.
0x1DA394D2 = ~z~I see the heavens opening, and the rain. -Both GTAV and RDR2 have post-rain sunshine as a weather effect. Some easter eggs are also rain-sensitive.
0x1E00F616 = ~z~I see a vengeful figure from your past, and a reward for your death... -Arthur has a bounty on his head for most of RDR2. The vengeful figure could refer to Dutch or Micah.
0x2B1ABB8E = ~z~I see mists and fog. -Either a generic fortune teller voice line, or refers to the intense fog in the forested regions of RDR2.
0x3AF43DBB = ~z~I see palm trees high in the sky, and shimmering pools of warm water, and people in, oh, oh dear... -I'm not too sure on this one, but it could potentially be a reference to the tendency for cars to end up in pools around Vinewood Hills after big stunt jumps.
0x3D56B345 = ~z~You were looking for Nazar, I think. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x4A17A267 = ~z~I see danger in your future. You must take care crossing the road... -Getting hit by cars is a common problem in GTAV, as is running over people with your horse in towns in RDR2.
0x4CE892E1 = ~z~Kifflom... -The signature saying of the Epsilon Program.
0x4F2D953F = ~z~I see numbers... one, two three. -One third of the phone number easter egg.
0x4F9C57D0 = ~z~Nazar, teller of fortunes, finder of lost things... -Madam Nazar offers the Collector role in Red Dead Online, hence "finder of lost things".
0x5AD8779F = ~z~I see a rooftop, and a briefcase, and death. No, no, no, no, no, it is not... not a rooftop... -Reference to the GTA Online mission Rooftop Rumble, which was extremely popular for money grinding in the first year of release. Despite the name, this mission does not actually take place on a rooftop.
0x5C41619D = ~z~Yes, all is clear... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x5D6EF371 = ~z~You were looking for me, yes? -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x5F900619 = ~z~I see you in high spirits. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x6FE9F6D6 = ~z~Too soon, too soon have you come back... -Possible reference to the player repeatedly using the machine to hear many voice lines.
0x7B74C501 = ~z~I see a web, still tangled after years of unravelling. Will you be the one, I wonder? -Reference to either the spider web easter egg, or the Chiliad mystery in general. I believe this remark is a clue that there is more to solve, and a challenge of who will be the first to do so.
0x7EC016A1 = ~z~I see a beautiful diamond. The largest in the world. Ah, it is cracked... -The grand Diamond Casino and Resort being broken into and robbed.
0x8D17F800 = ~z~I see, I see... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x8F6A344E = ~z~I see a lazy river, flowing by a scorched town... -There is a town burnt to a crisp in RDR2.
0x26F2F1F2 = ~z~I see a ridge in the land, and a falconer, and the black smoke rising to the east... -This has to be an RDR2 reference, though I don't remember any falconers. It is possible I missed a detail, it is a very long game.
0x37C69C95 = ~z~I see the sky covered by clouds. -A cloudy sky is the loading/respawning screen in RDR2. GTA loading screens are also often cloudy.
0x40EB3A6A = ~z~I think you were meant to stop by here, yes? -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x71B9557C = ~z~Madam will be here when you return. -Generic fortune teller voice line. She indeed is confined to her glass cabinet.
0x76C62201 = ~z~I hear birds, beautiful birds singing in a cage... -???
0x78CEE40F = ~z~See you soon, I think. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x80B3DB7F = ~z~I see great and furious judgement descending from the clouds to strike you down... -God? Lighting strikes? The Thor hammer easter egg in RDR2? The orbital cannon in GTA Online?
0x86A7C5E6 = ~z~Come closer, Nazar wishes to speak to you. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x93CA7E4A = ~z~You were looking for me, yes? -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x94ABA9D8 = ~z~I see the meaning of a song upon a stone. One is done, two was fun... -The rhyme written on the rocks in Blaine County for the Infinite 8 killer easter egg.
0x95D1F984 = ~z~I see trees. Such tall trees. -The Tall Trees region of RDR2.
0x97B943D7 = ~z~I hear a voice calling again and again, forlorn. A relative. He wants to do something. -Reference to Roman excessively calling Niko to go bowling in GTA IV.
0x178ED0A8 = ~z~I see the ruins of a battle fought long ago... -There is a Civil War battlefield point of interest in RDR2.
0x181E4BBE = ~z~I see a man in a white shirt, and a red vest. He is afraid to go to work... -The Diamond Casino valet Felipe, who players routinely murder for fun.
0x203F9619 = ~z~Madam Nazar has a beautiful collection. And she is generous. Go, see what trophy she gives you. -Madam Nazar buys valuable collectibles from the player in Red Dead Online. Could she also unlock a trophy in the arcade trophy shelf, like the one for owning all arcade games?
0x234DC9AD = ~z~Beware, not all love is kind. Just climb the mountain, and ask my poor Jolene. -The ghost girl easter egg of the late Jolene.
0x516A5CC8 = ~z~Welcome, wanderer, would you like to know the future? -Generic fortune teller easter egg.
0x532DDEEF = ~z~Come, come... magpie. -???
0x645D35FE = ~z~I see wet ground, and figures in the dark, and the spirit of a lonely girl... -Probably the Agnes Dowd ghost easter egg in RDR2.
0x746E2173 = ~z~Ah, you have found me. Come, come, hear your fortune. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x811A2BFA = ~z~You seek some purpose, some meaning in the chaos of this life... -Many theorize the answer to the Chiliad Mystery is some underlying karmatic "true ending" to the game. Part of Story Mode's main conflict is Michael dealing with some existential quandaries about morality and death.
0x5895B9F1 = ~z~I see thunder, and lightning. -Thunderstorm weather is present in many easter eggs across both games.
0x6233DB6A = ~z~No, no, no, no, no... You must be patient, my love... -We need to wait for more updates to further the mystery?
0x8887A74F = ~z~I see... a bright sun in a clear sky. -Another weather line, but there usually isn't anything special associated with sunny weather.
0x9276E6BB = ~z~Remember, Madam Nazar is always listening. Ask and you may receive. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x10124A92 = ~z~At the stroke of twelve, when the moon is fat, the beast will awaken within you. -The Beast, a werewolf the player can turn into in some Freemode Events and Adversary Modes in GTA Online, as well as a secret Director Mode actor for beating him in his secret fight against Bigfoot.
0x33199ECB = ~z~Welcome to Nazar's cabinet of wonders. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x71588BAE = ~z~I see a scorched land. A river along a border that cannot be crossed... -The border of Mexico is visible in RDR2, but cannot be crossed.
0x77702F37 = ~z~I see a secluded isle, and upon it I see, ah... it is gone. -???
0x96949B4F = ~z~Your line is tangled, but I see it now... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0x813078CC = ~z~I see numbers... seven, six, four. -One third of the phone number easter egg.
0x5085380D = ~z~I have revealed your path. Now... you must walk it... -Potentially a hint that Nazar's sayings are a clue toward something.
0x34880013 = ~z~The future cannot be changed. Return when it has become the past... -Francis Sinclair's appearance in RDR2 introduces an aspect of time travel into the mystery. Some parts of GTAV story mode occur before online, maybe there is something to be found by going back to the beginning?
0xA0CBFA2E = ~z~Madam Nazar sees your future, shall I tell you? -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xA76B6838 = ~z~Remember, the stars favor those who leave no stone unturned. -Much like "he was wrong to start his hunt on a Tuesday," this is as blatant as Rockstar can get at telling us there is still mystery to uncover. The unsolved Panoramic Map in RDR2 does portray star positions.
0xA84C88A8 = ~z~Your every move is watched. Be careful... avoid even the smallest misdemeanor... -Minor crimes can get you wanted in both games. Could also be another suggestion at the karmatic/pacifist playthrough theory.
0xA507B91E = ~z~The future is open to me... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xA3075AF7 = ~z~I see beautiful trees in an arid land... -Another line talking about trees. Could refer to trees in the desert in both games. Los Santos/California has trees grow despite desert climate because of irrigation systems.
0xA3408FC2 = ~z~Come closer, let me see you. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xAC37F487 = ~z~I see a door in the shape of a circle, and behind it endless opportunities opening to you, if you are able to adapt. -The circular vault door of the Diamond Casino, protecting cash, gold, artwork, and diamonds. "Able to adapt" refers to the random spawns and different approaches of the heist.
0xAC710EE1 = ~z~Let me see... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xB05CDEAD = ~z~Ahh, of course... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xB4DECB38 = ~z~I see a face beneath the ice. Yet, not the face of a man, or a woman... -The alien under the ice in North Yankton in Prologue.
0xB6FA4AA9 = ~z~I see many people bowing down before a yellow statue of a... no, no that cannot be right. -???
0xB7BEACD4 = ~z~I see an emerald covered in filth, lying on a beautiful plain... -Likely refers to Emerald Ranch in RDR2. It is a farming community, so manure and livestock are everywhere (filth) and it is indeed located in a plain.
0xB8C7E398 = ~z~Come back soon. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xB1172B6F = ~z~Ah, it is you. I'm glad you have come. -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xCBF36971 = ~z~I see grizzled mountains, and hungry eyes... -Could refer to the Grizzlies region of RDR2. Hungry eyes might be that of bears or wolves.
0xCC31A50E = ~z~I see numbers... five, one, one, two. -One third of the phone number easter egg.
0xDAF70F50 = ~z~I see a man with red hair, and a red mark upon his face. He does not belong here. -Francis Sinclair. He really doesn't belong here, as he presumably time traveled outside of his own reality.
0xE08ED444 = ~z~I see many cars in a white room. No, no, no... they are all the same car. And I see great wealth. And great boredom. This is a strange vision... -Reference to car duplication glitches, a popular way to make money in GTA Online.
0xE113C9F4 = ~z~The future is open to me... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xED3B9610 = ~z~I see true love in your future, but only if you act quickly! -???
0xEF1DAB95 = ~z~Take care... Your next drink will go to your head... -The Online Protagonist will pass out and wake up elsewhere after enough alcohol, which is necessary for the UFO tattoo easter egg. There are some moments in RDR2 where drinks have similar effects, such as the Witch's Brew, or the drink offered at Aberdeen Pig Farm.
0xEF6F7672 = ~z~I see... snow! -Both games feature snowy weather online for the holiday season.
0xF0CA2115 = ~z~Mine is the all-seeing eye. -All seeing eyes are a common visual in GTAV, especially on the SecuroServ app and the Chiliad Mural. They've even been featured in official artwork on Rockstar's website.
0xF8E39799 = ~z~Nazar sees all... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xF9577296 = ~z~I see... a man with evil intentions. He comes to take what is yours... -Could be any number of antagonists, Micah, Dutch, the Pinkertons, Devin Weston, Steve Haines, Avon Hertz, etc.
0xFC3052B7 = ~z~I see a great stone window, looking down upon a cold river... -???
0xFCDA6BA2 = ~z~I see cliffs in a silent desert. -???
0xFDB09265 = ~z~No, no, no, no, no, the mists do not clear... You must give me time... -Generic fortune teller voice line.
0xFEA2C689 = ~z~Look into my eyes.- Generic fortune teller voice line.
Don't forget this isn't the first fortune teller in GTAV, as Michael, Trevor and Franklin can use the Psychic Shoutout website in story mode.
The internet. We seem to use it every day! From a quick google search for a new Chinese restaurant, to see the latest fashions across the world or experience unique cultures half the world over. It fits in your pocket, it's likely on your TV, and more than likely it drives the business or industry you're in. But what would it be like to truly EXPLORE the internet? From the great mountains of research data regarding penguins to the flowing rivers of social media, the internet is more alive than any jungle, with new species of websites coming online daily. An infinite world to explore! But why only explore it on your phone or PC? Why not explore it in virtual life?! Today we are proud to be announcing...G.I.I.A. G.I.I.A. or the Global Interactive Internet Architecture has been specaially designed for use with the Avent Horizon GA-100. This architecutre allows anyone FDVR capabale to have an intuitive and dynamic toolbox fror the easy creation of a virtual "horizon". Each horizon is a self contained enviroment, only limited by the processing power of our machine/server. Anything is possible from a self contained virtual mall, a MEGA casino, virtual vaction destinations tailored to the users person whims and wants, or perhaps a truley virtual WORLD hand made or proceedurally generated for infinite adventure and exploration. The possibilities are infinite! But one must ask themselves...what is better than one virtual private horizon? The answer is simple. A infinite number of multi-person horizons! Each horizon is coded and designed to be able to easily link up with our unique server infrustructure, avalible at AVTHRZN.com/products/server, which will then allow your own unique horizon to be avalible for those browsing "the horizon highway". The horizon highway, in essenance, is a VR analog to the connections between servers. One simply needs to board their vehicle of choice, board the horizon highway, and browse to their hearts content! Users can also fastract to known or favorited horizons by simply accessing the in system browser, accessable from a handy dropdown menu accessable at anytime. The Architecture, avalible for free at AVTHRZN.com/products/devkit is avalible in 4 seperate plans. Our "Island" package, avaliable for free, allows anyone access to a basic devkit that is suitable for someone looking to dip their toes into the experiance of horizon development but do not want to make a huge financial commitment. Our "Continent" package is avalible for $25 a month and allows users a greater variety in their development toolbox, as well as access to the "Dev-Server" where they can download and use new features built by the dev team or other user generated creations and tools. Our "Global" package rings in at $65 a month and allows users to not only access the expanded dev toolbox, but it enables "paid features" allowing users to charge other users for goods and services in the horizon much like a traditional website such as amazon. At a whopping $125 a month you have the "Galactic Package" which enables all previous features, but enables the VR-AR feature of the package which allows users to set up real world locations to be accessed by people exploring the horizon and interact with real life people in that location through broadcasting their pressence through an AR lens. We live in a world of unlimited possibilities! Isn't it time you explored some? This message is brought to you by Avent Horizons. A subsidiary of the Swiss Society for Virtual and Augmented Reality
The researchers and developers at Avent Horizons have stepped into what might be the next step of how people explore the internet. The total project dev time and cost are slatted at 250 million and 3 years, with popularity based on both domestic and global adoption of the produce. With any hope, this will launch Avent as one of the main hubs for global internet traffic and trade in the second half of the 21st century. [M] First roll is the tech roll. The second roll is for domestic popularity.
The grocery bags plopped down and he collapsed backward onto his couch, breathing heavily. He shook his head and rested. Wow, he was out of shape. His friends were right; he did have to lose weight after all. “Dammit,” he said, recovering. He’d always been a bit chubby, but since getting full-time at the warehouse, he’d gotten so much fatter. The long hours kept murdering his feet and knees, but after being in poverty for practically all his youth, the money more than made up for it, and his waistline expanded accordingly. Pulling the mail from his hoodie pocket, he glanced at each one. The credit card offers he pitched into his burn pile, and his paycheck he opened and checked carefully. They’d finally gotten his name—Manfred Voren—completely correct. Taking a deep breath, he huffed, and hoisted the six plastic bags into his kitchen and began unloading. Some of the items he chose carefully, as per a recipe he wanted to try. He read the list and arranged each ingredient. Since the recipe estimated a thirty-minute time of completion, he opened his medicine drawer and popped his medication. For the next half hour, he toiled away at the chicken and pasta dish until it very nearly resembled the picture. Scooping it onto his plate, he chowed down while reading comics on his laptop. The latest issue of Breaker featured the main heroine, a tall, muscular power house of a woman, ripping into the powered armor of a bad guy. He knew the lore quite well. First Breaker was a favorite of his. He’d been reading it since the mid-nineties, having picked it up at age twelve. What attracted him to it, as he had typed into a conversation defending it against arguments of it being outdated, was how unique it was as a comic. “First Breaker,” he had written, plumbing the depths of his childhood memories for the right words, “isn’t just a ‘hey, ‘let’s beat up bad guys and smile for the camera’ superhero story. The main character is Cyroya, a goddess from the fictional ‘Bakeru’ religion. She’s not actually a savior, or a good guy; she’s the main enemy, the Satan of her people’s beliefs. As the Goddess of Strength, she basically shows up in ancient Rome and nearly ends the world, cutting apart entire armies all by herself. Kareth, the God of Mercy and Creation, defeats her, at great cost and casts her into Pareion, basically their religion’s hell.” He remembered that exchange and how heated he became, even though he realized he was only staring at a computer screen. He’d also introduced several of his friends to it. “Cyroya is cast into the bad place for her many murders, and here’s where it really gets good,” he’d defended. “Where most comics from the late eighties to early nineties—the so-called Dark Age—were just blood and gore for no end, we see her get tortured in Pareion and repent her crimes. That’s when Kareth sends her to the modern world and she must use her powers for good to save humanity, or else spend the rest of eternity in Pareion.” “So,” his friend Shawn asked, “if this Kareth guy is so powerful, why doesn’t he intervene?” Manfred took that as his cue. “Because eventually, they encounter threats even beyond the Gods. There’s literally a moment where a guy tells her she can help him take over the universe, and she has a perfectly good chance to kill Kareth and be free of his threat forever. Instead, she helps him defeat the bad guy. It’s great because she’s clearly a recovering villain. You see her have to struggle with the fact that, no, these humans aren’t insects merely there to satisfy your violent urges. You see her literally become a better person.” He remembered the friend basically answering with, “that’s great, Manny,” and leaving it at that. It was his favorite comic. Shoveling pasta and chicken into his mouth, he pressed the space bar to move forward. Doctor Richard Felaru, the bad guy in the power armor, Manny read, clearly had thought his machine could duplicate the Godess’s power. He’d had her against the ropes, but with the strength of will, she ripped his armor apart. Manny felt like a little kid again. This storyline had been going for the better part of a year, and he was glad to see it end. “Wow,” he mouthed, reading the last page. The story had ended exactly as he wanted. After finishing his sizeable meal, he washed his plate and silverware, setting it in the drying rack and picking up his laptop. Sitting for too long made his legs hurt, so he walked around carrying it. He shopped for comics online before reading some other issues he had on his computer. Furious Thunder Comic issue 682 appeared full-screen, him clicking on it. He enjoyed it, even though the writing hadn’t always been great. Unlike First Breaker, Furious Thunder was a very traditional super hero story, although not the same as many others. Unlike most of the traditional stories that started in the early Silver Age of Comics, Furious Thunder had started with a female lead. A female lead character, in 1952, was unheard of. Somehow it had managed to avoid being absorbed by the bigger studios, but had suffered in the sixties thus. The new timeline, he saw, wasn’t quite as good as the one before, but he still kept reading. One of the things that annoyed him was that when the character was first drawn, she was a decently curved woman for sixties standards. Now, she was almost anorexic. It wasn’t unique; many of the big studios had the female supers being model thin, but she was supposed to be a major hero. At least she wasn’t drawn with comically exaggerated breasts—even being a guy, it became annoying and distracting after awhile. Once more, he noticed her pulling her cousin’s pod out of the river. Before it had been a mountain landslide, and the original reboot had it be a river. He knew the story by heart: Michelle Delanter, having been examining archaeological ruins in South America, touched an artifact and was magically transported to another world, where she was forced to fight for her survival for a hundred years, somehow not aging. When she finally succeeded, it was revealed the whole ordeal was an illusory test to see if she was worthy of the power contained within the artifact. She then became Capacitor, a hero that utilized otherworldly energy to possess great strength, speed, and energy abilities. He read on, seeing that the origin deviated just slightly, with her finding the artifact and the whole training ordeal montaged in a series of six panels. She apparently explained to her cousin that he had been put in stasis because of his disease, and the pod had cured him, right before the earthquake diverted the river through the area where the building was. She grabbed his hand, and shared some of her power with him. “We’ll talk later,” she told him. “Right now, help me save the people downstream.” The next few pages were of the two of them using their powers to save people from the flooding and earthquake. It was nice to see they’d updated her age. In the original 50’s and 60’s comics, she’d been a teenager and her cousin the same age. Now, she was five years older than him. His cellphone rang and he set down the laptop. The caller ID read a familiar name. “Yeah, Joey? What’s up?” he asked. “You still hanging out on Saturday?” Joey said. “Wouldn’t miss it,” Manny explained. “Shit, as much as I work these days, it’s the only time I can.” Joey let out a breath of a laugh. “Ain’t that the damn truth.” He coughed. “Well, if you’re busy right now, I’ll let you go.” “Eh, I think I’m just staying home,” he replied. “Nothing much to do ‘round here anyway.” He smiled. “See you then.” Both knew too well what he spoke of. Southern Illinois was well-known for a few major things: abandoned buildings where industry once was, being twenty miles from the nearest civilized anything. If he was going to a movie, it would be fifteen miles to Edwardsville, or eight miles to East Alton. There was one book store the Illinois side of the Mississippi river. He watched some shows on the internet. After that, closed his laptop. Normally, later in the week, he found himself not wanting to be bothered. Now, though, the thought of being around friends made him feel lonely. Still, the nearest mall worth going to would be almost thirty miles away in the Chesterfield, Missouri area. Popping his knuckles, he made up his mind. He didn’t want to be home alone. At least the mall, far away as it was, presented the possibility of running into friends. His gas gauge reading full, he started it up and headed towards the Missouri line. Miles of forested areas passed by as he left his house, which was just short of Jerseyville, and passed through Alton. The riverside showed block after block of abandoned buildings where jobs used to be, some fifty years prior. The riverboat casinos with their flashing lights stood in stark contrast to the rows upon rows of taverns and bars that segmented sections of former places of business. The economy had been rough and he was lucky to have gotten a job that paid well. After crossing the Clark Bridge, the economy seemed to get much better, with the businesses of the Florissant area passing by. After more than twenty minutes of driving, he made it to Chesterfield and one of the few remaining malls performing well in the downtrodden economy. The mall looked uncrowded as Thursday evenings weren’t major business. The first store he hit was the bookstore, checking out their manga collection. There seemed to be only twelve people walking around the store, and none of them he knew. He read a few volumes before he left the store. Walking around the mall, looking around, he felt a bit dumb. There weren’t that many things he wanted to buy, and none of his friends seemed to have thought to come out here. He popped into a dollar store and bought a generic cola. The man behind the counter looked at his shirt and smiled. “Hey, nice shirt,” he said. “Haven’t read a comic since I was a kid, but those movies are great.” The man looked to be nearly fifty. Manny regarded the man’s gray hair and lined face. “What’d you read growing up?” “Well, I read a bit of everything,” the man admitted. “I can’t say I remember much of it. Nice to see Hollywood finally giving a thought to it, though.” Manny let out a humph. “You can say that again,” he responded. “I think when I was a kid, there was the 1989 movie and other than that, a bunch of crap. Now it seems like everyone likes ‘em.” He shrugged. “It’s annoying. Where were these movies when I was in high school about two-thousand-one?” They shared a laugh and he left the dollar store. It raised his spirit to feel reassured he wasn’t alone. Entering the video and game store, he looked through the Blu-ray section. He came across a copy of the nineteen eighty-one Capacitor movie. They’d made a crappy sequel in two-thousand-five, and hinted at a Furious Thunder reboot, but he always enjoyed the original. He hadn’t seen it in years or had this updated disc, so he bought it to give himself a reason to have come. He started the car and set his bag in the passenger seat. Flipping the radio on, a news story talking about lights in the sky over various parts of the world, and what the experts had to say about such things. Even though it might have been interesting, he set his radio to Bluetooth and played music from his smartphone. Pressing the emergency brake off, he shifted into drive and left the parking lot. The highway back to southern Illinois signaled his experiment had failed and he had to return home. Miles of highway passed once again. Nothing much out of the ordinary appeared until he got about halfway home. Pulling the car over to the shoulder, he stared at the sky, both awed and weirded out. Streaks of color, vaguely reminiscent of aurora borealis made streaks across the evening blue. However, these were off-colored. Various pinks, oranges, and silvers streaked in with the green and red. It undulated in the sky like some cosmic worm wriggling. Eager, he checked his mirrors and got out. He clicked his phone’s camera app and pointed it at the sky. The image quality wasn’t fantastic, but he wanted to keep a record of this. Some ten minutes later, it faded, and he got back in his car. Since others were stopping and staring, he took his opportunity and left. Returning home, he uploaded the photo to his laptop and watched videos on the internet. He opened his bought movies and made sure they worked. After ten minutes, he checked the clock. Work the next morning would be a pain in the ass, so he decided to check in for the night. He set his phone’s alarm clock and changed into his pajamas. The usual evening routine came next: brush teeth, change into pajamas, swallow some pain medication since his feet hurt. Once the ibuprofen kicked in, his mind slipped away into dreams. The alarm interrupted his dream of driving through a vague pseudo-city consisting of several places he had been to, while fleeing some nondescript sense of dread. Waking up was an exercise in lifting himself to a sitting position and waiting for his sense of balance to kick in. Shaking his head to clear it, he stood up and stumbled a few steps before righting himself and walking to the bathroom. The routine became second nature: brush teeth, do business, shower. He had a half hour or so before he had to be there, so he made himself a few sandwiches for breakfast along with some coffee. He took a hit of his inhaler and dressed himself before heading out the door. The drive to the warehouse reminded him how much he hated it. His work was a decent paying job; it didn’t, however, mean he enjoyed it. The man at the door scanned his ID badge and he walked over to the counter to be assigned. The woman, a middle-aged smoking victim, regarded him with the same deadpan expression everyone got. The number he got was thirty-three with a ‘C,’ and that meant he would be on shampoo duty. If there existed a better demonstration of how to reduce a man to a robot than the next five hours, he would have loved to see it. His task consisted of taking finished shampoo two-packs, placing them in a cardboard box in their slot, sealing the box in plastic when full, and placing it on a palate for a forklift to retrieve when the palate filled. Other than a single fifteen-minute break, he did nothing else. When the lunch break came, he got in his car and drove to the truck stop across the road and bought a sandwich from the refrigerator along with a generic diet soda. After that, he went back to work and another five hours passed by. His knees and back ached, and his hands hurt, so when finished he popped two naproxen sodium and finished the last of his green diet soda. It was painful, but at least he was lucky. Some of the other warehouse companies that hired paid only minimum wage. Then again, he rationalized, most of them were staffed by stoners and ex-convicts. On the way home, he stopped by the video rental kiosk and chose some arthouse film one of his friends had recommended. It wasn’t normally the kind of film he watched, but it would be a welcome waste of time. The sun was still up and yet, he wanted nothing more than to plop into his chair and leave the day behind. It bothered him some of his friends worked as much as possible. Other than keeping the house clean—which was the responsibility of everyone with a home—these people exercised for three, sometimes four hours a day, and this is after an eight to ten-hour work shift, and then chores. Maybe by the time they were done, they’d have two, maybe two and a half hours to just relax and do nothing before going to bed at eight-thirty, nine at the absolute latest. His shift started at five-thirty, and he finished at three-thirty. He worked forty hours a week, his default four-day schedule. His arms and back often ached, but damn it, every weekend was three days, he made enough money to pay the bills on a house his parents left him, and that mattered most. Furthermore, if he skipped a few meals here and there, he could save enough money to buy something big. Five years ago, he’d skipped enough meals to buy a two-thousand, five-hundred-dollar gaming laptop. It kicked as much ass as he could hope for. Maybe next year, he would start saving for a new one. The movie was ok, not exceptional, but he was glad anyway, because it being Thursday, he wouldn’t have to be back at the warehouse until Monday. He pulled out his PC controller and plugged it into his laptop. He decided to play Inindo: Way of the Ninja, a role-playing game from nineteen ninety-three. A relatively obscure game, he’d rented it once as a kid from Blockbuster Video and enjoyed it so much he played it completely at least once a year. It wasn’t particularly breathtaking, but it was a fun way to pass the time. Noticing the clock on the wall was nine P.M., he saved, put his laptop into hibernation, and stretched his limbs. The night was calling and he didn’t want to stay up too late. Just not having to awake at four the next morning felt great. When he turned in the direction of his bookshelf, he saw the book occupying the top slot—volume one of the 2004 run of Capacitor in Furious Thunder Comics. Opening the graphic novel, he remembered the familiar opening. The heroine, Michelle Delanter, with her trademark red hair, reminiscent of the setting sun, flapping in the wind, stood poised to save lives. Her figure, not quite as anorexic as the new run, had the super-skinny frame of a waif model, which, absolutely did not mesh with her powerful expression. He’d been entering college during the original run of these issues, and they were always a fun time. Hard to believe, it had been more than ten long years since then. Replacing the book, he felt a mild static shock. It annoyed him, and he started towards the bathroom when he felt a mild burning sensation wash over him. He pulled his shirt off, having stripped down to his underwear. Furiously he slapped his hands on his torso, trying to locate if something was injured or in some way damaged. A few seconds passed with the feeling increasing before fading entirely. His head felt slightly dizzy and then became normal again. “What…” he uttered. Before he had a chance to finish the thought, he felt a yanking, a pulling. It came from his abdomen. In a scene of utter impossibility, he looked down to the source of the feeling, and saw—as he continued to feel—his large bulbous fat gut drawing in. His entire torso shrank before his very eyes. “No, oonooo!” Trapped in a panicked thought, that he was shriveling up into a corpse somehow, he grabbed and pinched at skin, pulling and yanking, trying desperately to fight it. After a few moments, there wasn’t enough fat left to grab handfuls of. He gasped and panted, wide-eyed at how small his torso had become. Now the pulling came over his limbs. From his waist to feet, and shoulder to fingertip, his flesh tightened and retreated. Coarse hair disappeared, scant, fair body hair appeared in its place. His mallet-like hand with stubby sausage fingers turned into a dainty palm with slender pianist digits extending from them. Legs became thin, smooth, with only faint hair that wasn’t too noticeable. Giant fat feet shrank several shoe sizes. Finally, a twinge travelled up his chest and to the top of his head. His saggy man-breasts became recognizable ‘B-cup’ women’s breasts. Hair grazed his shoulders. “Yeep!” he shouted, tugging at the intrusion, only to see the reddish hair attached to his own head. The voice registered clearly in an adult woman’s range. He stumbled to the bathroom mirror and stared. Twenty-year-old, redheaded, superhero,fictional character, Michelle Delanter, or, an incredible facsimile, stared back at him. He shook his head, slamming his eyes shut. No. This is impossible. He had spent years of his life thinking skeptically. It was the reason he’d left religion behind. No, what happened was, he’d gone insane. This was a hell of a hallucination; he hadn’t even had a history of mental illness. Sure, when he was ten, he had a phase where he wanted everyone to call him Batman, but even then, he knew he wasn’t turned into an imaginary character. He ran his hands over his face. The red-headed woman—who, now that he thought about it, had no reason to be a fictional character—rubbed her face the same way. He felt up and down the body, and sure enough, the hands in the mirror moved as well. He took a deep breath and let it go; this was an amazing degree of insanity. He’d really flipped. Not only had he somehow developed a separate personality, but the hallucination was so good, he couldn’t think his way out of it. A thought occurred to him. Had he been this red-haired woman all along? He fumbled through his wallet. His driver’s license was the same as it was that morning. Manfred Voren, Illinois Driver’s License, five foot nine, two hundred eighty pounds. He took a selfie, making sure to only photograph from the neck up, and sent it to a friend of his. “What do you see here?” he included with the text. Ten seconds later, his friend Jake responded. “Cute girl,” he said. “Nice hair. She your new girlfriend?” “She’s a friend,” he replied. He set the phone aside. He sat down on the toilet lid. Either he hallucinated the text, he figured, or else Jake had really seen the girl. That wasn’t evidence enough, he knew, but it was a good start. He honestly expected, had he simply gone crazy, for Jake to say something about why Manny would send a photo of himself. Still, he couldn’t trust his own mind. This wasn’t possible. He had a mountain of evidence to suggest he had spent thirty-one years as Manfred Voren. Thinking about it, he’d never so much as seen a single redhead, anywhere in his life that looked like her. He sent the photo to his perverted friend John. “Would you do her?” “Sure, I would,” he replied moments later. “Who’s she?” “Someone I had a pleasant conversation with earlier,” Manny texted. “Has anyone like her ever been around us before?” “No, dude, I wish,” John replied. “Don’t miss the opportunity on this one.” He set the phone down. Now he had more evidence. Still not enough to positively rule out his insanity, but two separate friends acknowledged that the photo he remembered taking a minute before was both not him, and not someone they’d seen before. Either he was insane enough to have hallucinated: transforming, taking a photo of the result, as well as his friends reactions, or something absolutely not possible was actually happening. He still didn’t want to accept what had never happened before in human history. He slapped himself to see if he was dreaming; he wasn’t. He stood in front of the mirror. In his mind, he could see an image of himself as this woman. He focused hard on the image. He imagined it turning back into him. Nothing happened. After a few minutes, he closed his eyes and saw the image even clearer. He did it again, and still nothing. He imagined both images side by side—himself, as he was before, and her. Nothing happened, except this time, he felt a presence in the back of his head. Not like a person or spirit, but as if a switch or lever had magically appeared in his brain. Obviously, it didn’t have a literal appearance of such a device, or any appearance at all, but he noticed it only when he summoned both images side by side. With thoughts, he manipulated it, imagined it changing. Once more, nothing happened. Almost a half hour passed with nothing changing. Opening his eyes, he stared once more at the red-haired woman he’d become. If this didn’t change, if he couldn’t change back, he’d have a lot of hell to deal with. Sooner or later, he figured he’d wake up in a nuthouse or a courthouse, having done something like beating a guy to death because he hallucinated the devil in him or some crap like that. Or, if the absurd turned out to be true, he would have no identifying papers as this woman, and no history whatsoever. He’d have no solutions. If he somehow overcame these problems, he’d be spending the rest of his life as this woman. Could he really commit to that? Could he really pull the trigger? Oh my god, he thought. It was a trigger! He coughed to calm himself. Okay, he rationalized. Let’s assume what, again, I know to be impossible, is really happening. Let’s say I’m somehow turning into a woman and back again, his mind fired. Wouldn’t it be damn inconvenient should, say, a random thought morph you in the middle of a crowded room? He was the kind of guy to imagine spiders crawling on the walls at random. He’d hate to have the kind of power to do that. So, he guessed, should there be a fail-safe, to guarantee that no random imagining of himself would cause the change to occur? He focused on the twinge in his head, the feeling the…whatever the hell it was. He imagined her morphing straight back into him. This time, he didn’t imagine himself manipulating the…well, hell, he just decided to call it the Trigger. He committed. He decided, firmly and completely, yes, he wanted to be fat, almost thirty, underpaid and overworked, Illinois native Manfred Voren. He felt the Trigger change to a different state. Like a bad CGI film, his body morphed back into Manfred Voren. The entire process took eleven seconds. His fingers were fat again, his gut stuck out again, and his penis and testicles had returned, along with his ungainly body hair. He could have cheered when he became normal again. He had never been so glad to be overweight. And then, his curiosity got the better of him. Oh hell, he realized. He couldn’t let it go. He stepped on the scale, and it read two seventy-nine. Hey, he realized, he’d lost two pounds from the month before. In his mind, he imagined the woman again. He pulled the Trigger by committing to the transformation. Hey, as far as insane ideas went, it was convenient, the equivalent of an “are you sure” before deleting the file from the hard drive. It snapped into its previous state, and the change happened again. This time, the burning was replaced by a tingling, almost like the cold mixed with electric prickling around fur rugs. He stared in bewilderment as the scale plummeted to one hundred and thirty-seven pounds. Wow, not just impossible, he thought, but ultra super-duper impossible, violating the Law of Conservation of Mass impossible. He reversed the transformation and the scale climbed again. He decided to go to bed. This insanity could wait until the morning. With thoughts raging on his mind, it took quite a while, but he managed to slip off to dream. The sun’s light peering in through the window and shining in his face woke him up. He rubbed his belly and face. He was still Manny and still fat. How much of what happened the night before had been real? He yawned and stretched. Stumbling to the bathroom, he splashed water on his face. Mental images of himself turning into the woman from the night before returned, and with it, a familiar presence. He pulled the Trigger once again. Eleven seconds later, the red-haired woman stared back at him in the mirror, blinking when he blinked. The possibility that this was a hallucination hadn’t diminished much. Much of what he saw continued to be impossible per all the scientific evidence he knew. He had two pieces of evidence he couldn’t necessarily trust because he could have hallucinated them as well. A decision entered his mind. Since what was going on didn’t appear to be harmful or destructive yet, one of the easiest ways to prove it real would be to do things that it would be utterly impossible for a hallucination to deliver. To get there, he had to know if he had been turned into Capacitor, or just a red-haired woman. Based on his current supermodel-thin build, it would be utterly impossible for an ordinary woman with red hair to lift a refrigerator. He knelt in front of it, and wrapped his arms around the large metal rectangular prism. He bent his womanly legs and expected his back to scream at him. Instead, he felt weight resistance on par with lifting a beach ball. At fully standing height, he yelped and immediately had to avoid three problems at once: hitting it on the ceiling, dropping it, or banging it into the wall. It felt like carrying a bag of groceries. So, not just an ordinary red-haired woman, he thought, but actually The Capacitor. Gingerly, he set down the fridge. Got it. He walked around the house a bit, curious as to how many of her powers he had in this form. If this were really happening, he took mental note, he’d already demonstrated strength. She had several more. He stared all around, trying to activate her see-through vision. What the writers had made sure to do, he remembered from the comics, was not to give her x-ray vision. Her vision was a form of psychic remote viewing, since they didn’t want to imply her eyes gave off harmful ionizing radiation. After long minutes of trying, he found wanting to see further caused layers to become transparent, allowing him to see behind and beyond them. With effort, he gained another small, possibly unreliable, piece of evidence that this wasn’t a hallucination. One layer at a time, he saw past the wall of his house, past the walls of the neighbor across the street’s house, and into the books on a shelf perpendicular to his vision in one of their rooms. One book, he had never once read, The Old Man and The Sea by Hemingway, he saw the cover, then the first page. The next page was backwards, obviously, when the first page became invisible as he saw past it. Exercising his will, his vision returned to himself, having remembered the text of the page as best he could. He downloaded a digital version of the book and read the first page. The text matched what he saw. Alright, I couldn’t have made that up, he realized. Unless somehow, he had read the book somehow and forgot that he read it while still remembering the text, which struck him as unlikely. He still couldn’t rule it out, but now, more evidence mounted. The best evidence, he figured, would be to act as though it were real and see how far it went. Certainly, real life broke down all barriers and the truth eventually came out. If he ventured out into the world, and this was a hallucination, it would come crashing down, wouldn’t it? Sure, it could be disastrous, but if he had the insanity to hallucinate to this degree, what could he trust? It also meant, the farthest and most unlikely scenario could be true. Something impossible could truly be happening, and the implications, he scarcely wanted to contemplate, for the whole universe was involved. Turning back into himself, he decided to push it. He transformed parts of his body into hers. Individual feet at first, then hands. He could even transfer much of his body fat to her form. This seemed practical, as it meant his clothes would fit her, but at the same time, it bothered him. He thought about it. Ultimately, he shook it off in favor of more pressing matters. Her being fat allowed him to put his clothes on and head outside to do some work. Grabbing the car keys, he headed for the park near Wood River, Illinois. There, he could find a quiet corner of the large open park and practice. The wooded areas had quite a few places off the beaten path where people hardly went. In a cluster of trees, he stood, focusing on what he knew. Alright, he thought, one of the most basic abilities she had was flight. She could, in the comics, fly incredibly fast. He focused on his presence and imagined himself moving. At first, just as he expected, nothing happened. Practice made perfect. It was just like riding a bike. After twenty boring minutes of trying different mental techniques, he focused on deciding to levitate upwards. Leaves blew away from him in a circle, as if he had a propeller blowing. His feet left the ground by an inch. I’m getting it! He thought. Then he fell backwards onto his butt. He stood, brushed himself off. Fly, already, he mentally commanded. Upwards! Fly! As though fired from a cannon he shot up. Uncontrolled at first, he slammed into a tree face first, having surprisingly tested his durability and upon issuing a mental yell of “stop!” he came crashing down with a thump. The thought occurred to him that direction and speed may not be the same mental process. He indicated the direction of up, and decided. Simultaneously, he indicated a speed of slightly above gravity and committed. Like a balloon, he levitated to the height of the tree. At the top, he changed his speed to exactly the speed of gravity. He came to a dead stop and floated alongside the treetop. Left, he focused and thought. Slow. He hovered in the direction of the next tree. What surprised him was that he continued facing the original direction as he moved sideways. He had to turn his body midair to face the direction he moved; it wasn’t automatic. Touching the tree, he stopped and lowered himself. Finesse and fine control would have to wait. He had other powers to practice. What surprised him was that flight worked much like the “trigger” that activated his power: he had to mentally force it so a random thought couldn’t interrupt it. Sensory powers were her next major task. Sure, he knew, he’d tested her sight, but now, he had hearing to test. This was easy to activate. Unfortunately, it was hard to focus. A thunderstorm erupted in his head. He heard everything from nearby cars starting all the way down to the footfall of a squirrel. Drowning out everything except people’s conversations proved hard. It wasn’t like the comics at all. Sure, with effort, he could hear what they were saying separately by paying attention to it, but just like regular hearing, everything else mixed in. Ironically, the easiest powers to learn were what he expected to be the hardest. Energy projection, which in the comics, manifested as her being able to emit laser-like beams from her hands and directly in front of her eyes, wasn’t hard at all. He thought of the type of energy to be fired. In this case, a powerful beam of laser light. He pointed at a log. Making the decision, the tip of his finger glowed red and a dot appeared on the log, slowly burning. He decided to increase power. The light turned from red to blue, and it ate through the log in seconds. Once stopped focusing, it vanished. The other, super speed, almost felt like turning a knob. He found the world frozen around him as he focused on it. The only disorienting part was movement. He found he could see and process all the information around him, even though he felt the tremendous speed at which he ran. The logical problem was that his clothes didn’t rip off. The only answer he could come up with was that the invulnerability extended somewhat during running. He shifted back into his normal male form. Within twenty minutes of testing individual body parts, he found he needed to transform his brain into hers to have any abilities at all. Furthermore, he found he needed at least half his internal organs to be changed to have strength or flight, but sensory powers only required his eyes and ears to change. After a few minutes of testing his sensory powers in his normal form, he realized, it bothered him somehow. It didn’t feel right to him to use powers in his male form. He pondered it a few moments, but shook his head. He had other work to do. Namely, the thing he wanted to do was, in fiction, usually the first thing the hero learned not to do. He’d read enough comics and manga to learn that one of the very first lessons a protagonist learned was not to use their powers for self-interest. It was wrong. To an extent, he knew why it was wrong. But as someone who worked ten-hour days, for less than fifteen dollars an hour, he didn’t care.
Visitor's Guide to Red Wings hockey at Joe Louis Arena
It’s the last season for Joe Louis Arena. Many pilgrims are making the trek to the Hockeytown holy ground to watch the Detroit Red Wings play. I’ve posted this guide over the years for first time visitors to the Joe. I hope you find it helpful. Suggestions welcome!
I've been asked about safety in and around the Joe as well as nearby Detroit city streets. Detroit has a reputation of having high crime and some will say it was earned. However in the 20 years I've been going to games at the Joe and spending time around the Joe I've never felt threatened for my safety. Immediately around the Joe there are Detroit City Police officers and Olympia Security before and after the game. Inside the Joe there is Olympia Security. The city streets around the Joe and out to the restaurants and hotels are walkable and you should feel safe. But like in any modern city, keep your eyes and ears open and don't be stupid. Walk in groups. Stay (reasonably) sober. Don't go down the sketchy alley. Stay on the well-lit streets. Park in a guarded structure not on a dark side street far away. Lock your car doors. Don't leave visible items inside the car. In other words, be smart. Don't be a victim. You'll be fine and you'll have a good time.
A guided tour of Joe Louis Arena is available by scheduling in advance. It only costs US$6 for adults and US$3 for children. Tours are only available on certain dates. Check the Red Wings website for more information and scheduling.
Tickets can be purchased through Ticketmaster, or at the Joe box office (if not already sold out), or through a reseller like Stubhub or even Ticketmaster's Ticket Exchange. Join the mailing list and check out the Red Wings social media for short notice deals like student and military rush ticket pricing and Fan Packs. Be advised the special offers are typically for low demand games like weekdays. Friday and Saturday games especially near holidays are high demand and typically not going to have special offers. These games will most likely not have cheap seats even on the reseller market.
The new Little Caesars Arena is still being built. You can see the progress at 66 Sibley St, Detroit, MI 48201 just west of Woodward Ave. north of I-75.
Locals don’t know much about hotels in Detroit but I’ve known visitors with money to stay at the Westin Book Cadillac which is walking distance to the Joe. On the mid range side check out the Ilitch-owned Motor City Casino which also has free shuttle to the Joe. On the cheaper side still within walking distance is the Holiday Inn Express next to the Westin Book Cadillac.
I recommend eating at a restaurant somewhere else besides the Joe before the game - unless you like stadium food at stadium prices. If you must eat at the Joe check out the free playbill for vendor map. If you want a complete Ilitch experience then get a slice or whole pie of Little Caesars pizza. On the lighter, fresher side is East End Joe’s deli with good subs and salads. There aren't many restaurants immediately near the Joe. I recommend somewhere iconic such as a coney from American or Lafayette (PROTIP: Lafayette) both of which are a reasonable walking distance to the Joe. Check out the /detroit sidebar for more Detroit restaurant suggestions in and around the city. Popular spots include Hockeytown Cafe and flaming cheese in Greektown.
Tommy’s and Cobo Joe’s are neighborhood bars that are walking distance to the Joe if you want to drink and hangout with fans before or after. Again /detroit sidebar has more bar suggestions in and around the city.
For convenience, park at the Joe Louis Arena parking structure. It may be pricier (US$25 as of 2016-10-23) and take a while to get out if you're in a rush but it is a comfortable sheltered walk down the habitrail to the Joe. If you are up for a short walk and would like to save a buck I recommend the Cobo basement for US$15. The further away you park from the Joe the cheaper it is. Many locals will park at the Greektown Casino and take the People Mover elevated tram for US$0.75 to the Joe Louis Arena stop but the line gets long after the game. Some nearby bars also have shuttles for free or a couple bucks. PROTIP: Nemo's has the best shuttle drivers and they let you bring roadies. Regardless, remember where you parked, how you walked to the Joe, and which door you came in. I’ve seen many visitors get turned around after a couple beers and a good game.
Coming from Canada? There is a Windsor tunnel bus US/CAN$4.50 each way from the bus terminal downtown Windsor (Chatham and Church) to the front of Cobo. From there it is a 10 minute walk, mostly indoors. Getting through immigration takes a few minutes. Have your passport and don't be drunk. Check the schedule and give yourself at least an hour. The last bus is half an hour after the game ends. (thanks poodletown!)
The Joe doors open 1.5 hours before game start but people sometimes start casually queuing before then. If there is a giveaway that game, people will queue earlier before doors open. If you want that bobblehead, get there before the doors open.
If it is cold or inclement weather and the doors aren't open yet you can shelter in the Box Office below the Gordie Howe entrance or on the river side inside the closest Cobo doors to the Joe. PROTOP: In the Box Office you can pick up the #JLAwifi WIFI against the wall closest to the rink.
The best photos of the Joe exterior are from street level at the corner of Jefferson and Yzerman, the Riverwalk along the Detroit River, and from the People Mover on the way to the Cobo stop. There is a Farewell to the Joe mural of sorts on the outside face of the iconic steps at both entrances. Get there early for a good photo op.
Will call tickets are at the Box Office on street level at the Gordie Howe entrance of the Joe. PROTIP: Across from the will call door is the player parking entrance. If you get there early enough (2-3ish hours?) you can see the Red Wings drive up. Opposing team’s bus unloads near the river side entrance.
There is a strict bag size policy enforced at the door. I’ve seen some upset people turned away at the doors. Know before you go.
You will have to go through a metal detector and may be subject to extra screening to enter the Joe.
Cell service inside the concrete bunker of the Joe sucks. However the Joe has free WIFI. Point your device at SSID #JLAwifi - no password but there is a click through screen.
There are free playbills inside the Joe at the entrances. Grab one because it has an arena map with section numbers and vendor locations. Sometimes there are interesting articles too.
There is no single large pro-shop at the Joe. However there are a couple vendors scattered around the concourse selling shirts and memorbilia. There are also some vendors setting replica jerseys and signed authentic jerseys and gear. PROTIP: the Joe prices are high for swag. Buy your gear ahead of time online or at Detroit Athletic in Detroit or Hockeytown Authentics up in Troy.
There are local Detroit and Michigan craft beer vendors on the Joe concourse, check the map in the free playbill. They're priced around US$10. I'd rather overpay for good local beer than overpay for shit beer. PROTIP: Founders has had some yummy seasonal beer this year on tap at the Joe.
The Olympia Club in the Joe is meh unless you're attending a specific event there. Unless you have a free pass I wouldn't bother going.
Friendly ushers are everywhere to help out and answer your questions. Most will take your photo for you if you ask politely.
During warmups, fans congregate around the glass. Players come out at 30 minutes before game time for warmups. PROTIP: I recommend watching the Red Wings shoot at the net during warmups from behind the net on the glass in section 101. Hearing the puck smack the glass inches from your face is neat. Same for aisle for 115 on the visiting team side behind the net.
The best spot for photos of the banners hanging from the rafters is the top row of the upper level in section 215. The Howe, Lindsey, and Delvecchio statues are on the concourse just inside the Gordie Howe entrance.
There are no bad seats at the Joe, just some people have preferences. OK, section 204b row 27 seat 10 sucks. Sit in your own seat. If you see seats that are still empty well into the first period then move to them. If someone asks you to move out of their seat just do it. PROTIP: if you want to hear some commentary sit in the last row (24) of sections 209-210 right below the media booths. Ken and Mickey are above 207.
Don't be disrespectful during the national anthem(s). Just stand politely and shut up. Some visitors don't understand how disrespectful they can be. It's like 2 minutes, put the phone down.
Most Red Wings fans are friendly people and quite knowledgeable about their team and the sport. Strike up a conversation and you'll probably learn something new.
Cheer for your visiting team but don't be a dick about it.
DO NOT STAND UP OUT OF YOUR SEAT WHILE THE PUCK IS IN PLAY.
There are usually no lines for the new restrooms built above the concourse vendors on both sides. The original men's restrooms can get long lines because no one knows there are new restrooms. PROTIP: check out the original men's restrooms for classic old hockey barn urinal trough nostalgia.
Don't leave early! If the Red Wings win the DJ will play Don't Stop Believing in the final seconds or right after the game ends for you and thousands of your friends to sing along. The arena DJ plays music from multiple genres from motown to country to pop and is known to take suggestions. He can be reached on Twitter @thehockeyjockey.
Unless you like the crush of humanity, wait a couple minutes until after the game to head out. The concourse can get pretty tight during well-attended weekend or playoff games. PROTIP: walk around the inside of the Joe to section 102 to avoid the concourse crush.
Have fun and enjoy the game!
Edit 1: added a section about safety. Edit 2: added sections on tours and inclement weather. Edit 3: updates and clarifications. Edit 4: updated Windsor Tunnel bus link
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If there is something you're aware of, that isn't on this list, mention it below. Make sure you call ahead to make sure the location in your area is participating in these offers. It's not my fault if you go into a restaurant that isn't offering this deal, and you don't have enough money to pay your tab. Don't forget to tip your server. The second half of this list is retail offers. There are even things to involve the families. Food
Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza: Active and former United States Armed Forces personnel are welcome to a complimentary small order of Meatballs with Ricotta Cheese, on Friday, November 11. Offer valid for both dine-in and to-go orders. Proper ID required.
Applebee’s: Veterans and Active Duty Military can select a free meal from a limited menu for Veteran’s Day. Provide proof of service required. All current and former military personnel will also receive a $5 coupon that can be redeemed between November 12 and November 27, 2016.
Back Yard Burgers: This Veterans Day, 11/11/2016, all Veterans and Active Duty Military who present their military ID or are in uniform will receive a free Back Yard Classic Burger.
Baker’s Square Free Breakfast: Veterans and active duty get a complimentary breakfast on Veterans Day at participating locations. Choose between Buttermilk Pancakes, three slices of French Toast or a Belgian Waffle.
Bandana’s Bar-B-Q: Veterans and active duty eat free on Friday, Nov. 11th (up to a $10 value).
Bar Louie Free Lunch or Dinner: Vets and active military receive a free app or entree on Friday, November 11th.
Billy Sims Barbecue: This year on Friday, November 11, veterans and active military men and women receive a free pulled pork sandwich, one regular side, and a collector’s cup.
BLT Steak: 50% off for parties of two or less, 25% off for parties of three or more at BLT Steak Atlanta, Charlotte, DC, NYC, and White Plains. 25% off at BLT Steak Las Vegas. 35% discount regardless of party size at BLT Steak Waikiki. Military ID required.
BJ’s Restaurant: All veterans and active military can enjoy a complimentary entree under $12.95 on Friday, 11/11/2016. Please present your military ID to receive this offer.
Black Angus Steakhouse: On Veterans Day, all veterans and active duty personnel will receive a free Top Sirloin Steak Dinner, with home-style mashed potatoes,fresh broccoli with garlic butter and sweet molasses bread. Offer is good Veterans Day November 11th, 2016.
Bob Evans: Bob Evans Restaurants are offering free select menu items to Veterans and Active Duty Military on Veterans Day, Friday, Nov. 11th, 2016. In addition to the meal, Bob Evans will offer a 10% discount from November 12 – December 31 for both dine-in and carryout meals.
Bonanza Steakhouse: All former and current military service men and women enjoy a free buffet (beverage not included), at all participating Bonanza Steakhouses. Contact your local Bonanza for more details.
Boston’s Restaurant & Sports Bar: To thank a military hero for their service, simply purchase a paper “Boston Lager” glass. When military heroes stop into Boston’s Pizza the week of Nov. 14-20th., they then pick a “paper glass” off our wall and receive a free Sam Adams Boston Lager thanks to your donation.
Boston Market: Free Brownie or Cookie with any purchase for all veterans, service members, and their families. No ID required.
Bricktown Brewery: Free meal (up to $14) for all veterans on November 11th. They will also receive a $10 gift certificate for their next visit. This offer is available at all locations except Remington Park Race Track and Casino.
Bruegger’s Bagels: All day on November 11th, veterans and active military members may enjoy a free small coffee. Offer valid at participating locations, and no purchase is necessary.
Buffalo Wild Wings Free Wings: All day long on Friday, November 11, veterans and active duty military who dine at their local B-Dubs can receive a free small order of 10-12 traditional or boneless wings and a side of fries. At participating U.S. locations only.
California Pizza Kitchen: On Veterans Day, all veterans or active duty military personnel will be able to select a free entree from a special Veterans Day menu including pizza, salads, and pasta. Please come in uniform or bring your military ID or other proof of service.
Cantina Loredo: Veterans and active duty military can receive a complimentary meal on Veterans Day.
Carlo’s Bakery: One free canoli on Veterans Day for veterans.
Centraarchy Restaurants: CentraArchy Restaurants are showing their gratitude by honoring veterans and active duty military service members with a FREE entrée and 25% off entrée(s) to their accompanied family on Veterans Day. Includes California Dreaming, New York Prime, Chophouse ’47, The Tavern at Phipps, Carolina Roadhouse, Joey D’s Oak Room, Burro Loco, Gulfstream Cafe, Chophouse New Orleans.
Charlie Brown’s Steakhouse: Veterans and active-duty military eat lunch for free on Veterans Day from 11:00 am to 3:00 pm.
Chili’s Free Meal: Veterans and active-duty military receive a free meal on Veterans Day from a special Veterans Day menu. Must show proof of military service.
Chipotle: Offering a buy one get one free discount for a small burrito, bowl, or salad on Veterans Day from 3pm to close. Offer is extended to all Veterans, military, and military spouses with proof of service.
Cheeseburger in Paradise: Receive a complimentary Veteran’s Burger with fries to veterans, active and retired military personnel on Veterans Day. Dine in only, must purchase a beverage, and must present proof of service.
Chevys Fresh Mex: On Veterans Day, Chevys Fresh Mex will offer a complimentary menu item to all active and retired military personnel. Special Veterans Day menu includes fajitas, burritos, tacos and more.
Chicken Salad Chick: On Nov. 11, veterans who present proof of service in the form of ID Card will receive a Free Original Chick and regular drink.
Coco’s Bakery: Coco’s is honoring all Veterans & Active Duty Military with a free slice of pie this Veterans Day.
Chuck E. Cheese: This Veterans Day (11/11/2016) at Chuck E. Cheese’s, active and retired military members can enjoy a free individual 1-topping pizza with offer code 5258.
City Barbeque: One free sandwich platter will be given to each veteran for either dine-in or carryout orders. At participating locations only. Veterans Day only.
Claim Jumper: On Monday, November 14, 2016, veterans who show valid ID may receive a free entree from a special menu. This offer is valid for dine-in only, and will not be available at Golden Nugget Lake Charles and Golden Nugget Las Vegas locations.
Cotton Patch Free Meal: Free meals to veterans of Veterans Day. Choice between a chicken fried steak or chicken fried sandwich.
CraftWorks Restaurants: In honor of Veterans Day participating locations will offer a complimentary craft beer to active and retired military personnel. CraftWorks, operates the Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurants, Rock Bottom Restaurants & Breweries, Old Chicago Pizza & Taproom and ChopHouse & Brewery, as well as other regional restaurant brands including Big River Grille, Bluewater Grille, A1A Ale Works, Ragtime Tavern Seafood & Grill and Seven Bridge Grille & Brewery.
Country Cookin: Active, reserve, and retired military personnel receive a free meal on Tuesday, November 15 from 2 PM – 8 PM.
Cracker Barrel Old Country Store: Veterans receive a complimentary Double Chocolate Fudge Coca-Cola® Cake dessert to veterans and an opportunity for guests to make purchases that support the United Service Organizations (USO). Veterans Day only.
Denny’s All You Can Eat Pancakes: All active, inactive, and retired military personnel at all participating Denny’s restaurants nationwide will receive a free Build Your Own Grand Slam breakfast on Friday, Nov. 11, from 5 a.m. to noon. Diners must show ID to receive this offer.
Dickey’s Barbecue Pit: Veterans and active military who eat at Dickey’s on Friday, November 11th, may enjoy a free meal which includes a sandwich, side and a Big Yellow Cup, up to a $12 total value. Anyone who dines with a veteran is offered a free Big Yellow Cup with applicable purchase.
Don Pablo’s Free Appetizer: Don Pablo’s is honoring all Veterans and Active Duty Military this Veterans Day with a free appetizer.
Famous Dave’s: On Nov. 11, 2016 in honor of Veteran’s Day all former and current military personnel will receive a free two meat Combo.
Farmer Boys: Veterans and active duty military may receive a free Big Cheese® burger on Friday, November 11. To receive offer show valid ID or proof of service. Limit 1 per guest, and not valid in the drive-thru.
FATZ Cafe: All military veterans and active duty may receive a free Calabash Chicken entrée. Offer valid for lunch or dinner on Friday, November 11th, and includes a Signature Sidekick and choice of soup or salad. Please delete last years offer.
Figaro’s Free Pizza: Veterans and active service members get a free medium 1 topping pizza on Nov. 11, 2016.
Firebirds Wood Fired Grill: Veterans and active military may receive a free lunch or dinner entree on Friday, Nov. 11th. Valid form of ID is required, one offer per guest, tax and gratuity not included. If dining with family or friends, the free entree will be whichever is of lesser value.
Fogo De Chao: Veterans and active duty personnel receive 50% off on Veterans day and 3 additional guest will receive 10% off.
Friendly’s Free Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner: Friendly’s is treating veterans and active military, with a valid military ID or honorable discharge card, to a free dine-in breakfast, lunch or dinner from select menus on Veteran’s Day 11-11-2016.
Furr’s Fresh Buffet: Furr’s is honoring all Veterans and Active Duty Military this Veterans Day with a free buffet.
Glory Days Grill: Free appetizer or a regular order of traditional or boneless wings for veterans on Nov. 11, 2016.
Golden Corral: On Monday, November 14th, 2016 from 5 PM to 9 PM, Golden Corral offers a free sit-in “thank you” dinner for Military veterans, retirees, and active duty members.
Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurants: Participating locations will offer a complimentary craft beer to active and retired military personnel.
Granite City Food & Brewery: Lunch and a coke on GCFB for all veterans and active military members on Veterans Day.
Green Mill Restaurant and Bar: Veterans and Active Duty Military will receive a free lunch or dinner dine-in meal at participating locations on Veterans Day. Must show proof of service, and beverages and gratuity are not included in free meal.
The Green Turtle: Veterans and Active Duty military enjoy a free meal on Veterans Day.
Grub Burger Bar: Calling all active & nonactive military – this #VeteransDay, the burger & fries are on Grub.
Handel’s Homemade Ice Cream: Free single code for veterans and military personnel on Veterans Day.
Hickory Tavern: 50% off of all food and non-alcoholic drinks for Veterans and Active Duty Military on Veterans day 11/11/16. This offer includes Hickory Tavern’s 24 locations in 13 communities in the southeast and a certificate for 20% off of your next meal.
Hometown Buffet: Free buffet and drink for all veterans and active duty military on Veterans Day.
Hooters Free Meal: Hooters invites all veterans and current servicemen and women to a Hooters Veterans Day free meal from their select Veterans Day menu by presenting a military ID or proof of service at any Hooters location across the country on 11-11-2016.
Hoss’s Family Steak & Sea House Free Meal: Veterans and active duty military will have a choice between four meals and must show proof of military status. Valid I.D. is required.
Houlihan’s: 11.11.16 active military and veterans receive one free entrée with purchase of an additional entrée.
Hurricane Grill & Wings: All veterans and active duty military receive a free entrée and non-alcoholic beverage from their special Veterans Day menu. Choose from wings, burgers and more.
Hy-Vee Free Breakfast: Hy-Vee is providing a free breakfast buffet for veterans during regular breakfast hours on Veterans Day.
IHOP: On Veteran’s Day between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., participating IHOP Restaurants around the nation will be honoring the brave men and women who have served, or are serving, in the United States Military by offering them free Red, White, and Blue pancakes. Select IHOP restaurants will also offer a combo of two eggs, hash browns and choice of two bacon strips or pork sausage links as part of the Red, White & Blue Pancake promotion. Promotion for retired and active duty military personnel.
Ikea Free Entree: Veterans can enjoy a free entree at Ikea. Please show some form of military ID.
K & W Cafeteria: Free entree with the presentation of your military ID on Veterans Day from 4 pm to closing.
Krispy Kreme Free Doughnut & Coffee: On Veterans Day 2016, a free doughnut and small coffee will be given to anyone who identifies themselves as a veteran or active military personnel (no ID required).
Krystal: On Veterans Day 2016, all active and retired military can receive a complimentary sausage biscuit. Lamar’s Donuts Free donut and a 12oz coffee for all veterans and active military on Veterans Day.
Little Caesars Pizza: On Friday, November 11, from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. veterans and active military members can receive a free $5 HOT-N-READY® Lunch Combo. Proof of service required to receive this offer.
Logan’s Roadhouse: This Veterans Day veterans and active duty can come in for a free dessert at participating locations. Veterans year round receive a 10% discount to guests who present a military or veterans’ ID.
Longhorn Steakhouse Free App: LongHorn Steakhouse will offer a free appetizer or dessert (no purchase required, no restrictions) to anyone showing proof of military service. In addition, guests that dine with Veterans on November 11 will receive 10% off.
Marco’s Pizza: Marco’s Pizza will host free pizza parties for military veterans at local VFW posts, VA hospitals and American Legions nationwide, with certain pizza boxes containing certificates for special surprise gifts, such as much-needed wheelchair ramps, medical bill assistance or plane tickets to visit family.
Max & Erma’s: On Veterans Day, participating Max & Erma’s locations are celebrating veterans and active military personnel with a free three-course combo.
McCormick and Schmick’s Free Entree: Veterans and Gold Star Families can enjoy a complimentary meal at McCormick and Schmick’s on Sunday, November 6th, 2016. Bloody Mary’s or Mimosas will be available for $3.
Menchie’s Free Frozen Yogurt: On Veterans Day, all Veterans and military personnel with a military ID or dressed in uniform will receive a free six-ounce frozen yogurt any time of day on Veterans Day 11.11.16. Show a valid ID or be in uniform to receive.
Mimi’s Cafe: Veterans and Military receive a free entree with the purchase of any non-alcoholic drink at Mimi’s Cafe on Veteran’s Day, 11/11/16. Entrees on the Veteran’s Day menu include Grilled Chicken & Frites, Chicken Chop salad, Brioche Cheeseburger, or Farmhouse Tacos.
Mission BBQ: Veterans and active duty will receive a FREE sandwich and cake (while supplies last) on Veterans Day, 11/11/2016.
Native Grill & Wings: On November 11th, Veterans will receive one free menu item (up to $11.99 in value).
Ninety Nine Restaurant & Pub: On 11/11 from 11am – 4pm, we invite Veterans and active military to join us and receive a free lunch* from our 9 Real Size Entrées for $9.99 Menu with the purchase of any entrée.
O’Charley’s: O’Charley’s will honor our military on Veterans Day 2016 by offering veterans and active duty service members a free meal at any location on November 11th. Additionally, O’Charley’s offers a 10 percent military discount all year long.
Old Country Buffet: Free buffet and drink for all veterans and active duty military on 11/11/16.
Old Chicago Pizza & Taproom: Participating locations will offer a complimentary craft beer to active and retired military personnel.
Olive Garden Free Meal: On Veterans Day, Olive Garden restaurants will offer a free entrée from a special menu to active-duty military and military veterans. The special menu features six of Olive Garden’s most popular items. Entrées are served with unlimited homemade soup or famous house salad and warm, garlic breadsticks.
On The Border: This Veterans Day, all veterans and active duty military will receive a free meal at OTB’s. The meal is from the”Create Your Own Combo menu,” which is a “choose 2” or “choose 3” menu.
Outback Steakhouse: All active, retired military and veterans get a free Bloomin’ Onion® and a beverage on Veterans Day. Must have valid identification. There is also a military discount of 15% off the total check from valid for military members and their families.
Panera Bread: 1 free You Pick 2 for Veterans and Active Duty members on Veterans Day at participating locations in South Florida, Kentucky, Ohio, Western Pennsylvania and West Virginia. Bring proof of service.
Perkins Restaurant & Bakery: Get free Magnificent Seven® meal to U.S. Military both past and present on Veteran’s Day, November 11, 2016.
Petro Stopping Centers: On Veterans Day, military veterans who hold a CDL can receive a complimentary meal from a select menu (including a beverage). Please show proof of service. Offer is valid Friday, November 11, 2016, at any participating Petro sit-down restaurant nationwide.
Primanti Bros.: Veterans and active duty military get a free sandwich from 4 PM to close.
Ponderosa Steakhouses: From 4pm-close, all former and current military service men and women enjoy a free buffet (beverage not included) from participating Ponderosa locations. Contact your local Ponderosa for more details.
Red Hot & Blue Restaurants: Active Duty, Retirees and Reservists receive a free entrée with the purchase of two drinks and a second entrée of equal or greater value. Proof of military service required. Dine-in only. Print and present the coupon before ordering. Available for three days–Wednesday, November 9; Thursday, November 10; and Friday, November 11, 2016.
Red Lobster: To thank Veterans, active duty military, and reservists, Red Lobster will offer a free appetizer or dessert from their select Veterans Day menu. To receive offer, show a valid military ID on November 10th and 11th.
Red Robin: All Veterans and Active Duty Military get a free dine-in Red’s Tavern Double Burger and Bottomless Steak Fries on Veterans Day 11/11/2016.
Rib Crib: Veterans and active military service members can choose a free meal from RibCrib’s Menu of Honor that includes a choice of two meats and two sides, including their slow-smoked meats and award-winning St. Louis spare ribs.
Rock & Brews: Rock & Brews is offering all active duty military, veterans, and first responders a free pulled pork sandwich on Veteran’s Day at ANY Rock & Brews location nationwide.
Rock Bottom Restaurants & Breweries: Participating locations will offer a complimentary craft beer to active and retired military personnel.
Ruby Tuesday: On 11/11/2016 veterans, active duty, and reservists (with proof of service) may receive one free appetizer up to $10 in value.
Ryan’s: Free buffet and drink for all veterans and active duty military on 11/11/16.
Sagebrush Steakhouse: All veteran and active duty personnel receive a complimentary meal from a select menu on Friday, Nov. 11th.
Sheetz: All veterans and current servicemen and women get a free 6″ turkey sub, regular fountain drink. Locations with a car wash also offer a free car wash on Veterans Day 11/11/2016.
Shoney’s: Shoney’s says ‘Thank You’ to America’s heroes by offering a Shoney’s All-American Burger to all Veterans and Active Duty Military members on Veterans Day.
Sizzler Free Lunch: Sizzler is proud to honor and celebrate United States veterans and active-duty military personnel with a free lunch and beverage on Veterans Day, Friday, Nov. 11, 2016.
Spaghetti Warehouse: Receive a special “buy one entree, get one free” coupon offer and they are encouraging its guests to “invite a veteran to lunch or dinner.” Coupon can be redeemed from Friday, November 11 through Sunday, November 13. The coupon will be available on the Spaghetti Warehouse website on Nov. 4, and can be printed or presented by mobile phone.
Starbucks: On Veterans Day 2016, active duty service members, reservists, veterans and military spouses are invited to enjoy a free Tall Brewed Coffee. In addition, now through November 11, for every Veterans Day Starbucks Card or eGift purchased, Starbucks will contribute $5 to help support programs assisting service members, military spouses and veterans.
Sticky Fingers Ribhouse: On Friday, November 11 Veterans can enjoy a free pulled pork sandwich with baked beans and cole slaw.
Stir Crazy: Fri. Nov. 11th, any veteran or active duty create a free chicken or steak fresh market bar.
sweetFrog: sweetFrog Enterprises will provide a free 12-ounce cup of frozen yogurt to all service members with a valid military ID.
TA Stopping Centers: All truck drivers who are also veterans of the United States armed services can enjoy a complimentary meal, including a beverage, on Veterans Day. At any participating TA and Petro sit-down restaurant across the U.S.
Tahoe Joe’s: Free 6oz steak for all veterans and active duty military on Friday, Nov. 11th, 2016.
Texas De Brazil: Monday, November 7th thru Friday, November 11th get 50% off the regular dinner pirce for veterans and active duty military plus 1 guest. 20% off for up to 6 additional guests.
Texas Roadhouse Free Lunch: Select from a free special veterans lunch menu including a beverage and sides.
Texas Steakhouse & Saloon: All veteran and active duty personnel receive a complimentary meal from a select menu on Friday, Nov. 11th.
TGI Fridays Free Lunch: Guests who show valid military ID can enjoy a free lunch menu item up to $12. This offer is valid on Friday, November 11th, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. local time.
Tijuana Flats: A free entree is offered to military veterans and active duty on Friday, 11-11-16.
Tucanos Brazilian Grill: Free Chursasco with the purchase of a Churasco now through Veterans Day.
Turkey Hill: This Veterans Day, November 11th, Turkey Hill is welcoming active, inactive, and retired military personnel to stop by for a free 16-ounce coffee or cappuccino.
Twin Peaks: All Military men and women (past and present) enjoy a free menu item from their Annual Veterans Day Appreciation Menu. Present valid military ID to receive offer.
Uncle Maddio’s Pizza: Veterans and active duty service members are offered one free 9-inch, three-topping pizza on Friday, November 11. Please show valid ID or proof of service, or wear your uniform.
Village Inn: All who have served get a free Inn-Credible V.I.B. breakfast on Veterans Day.
Wayback Burgers: All Wayback Burgers locations will offer active military personnel and veterans a free Wayback Classic Cheeseburger with the purchase of a side and drink. Additionally, Wayback Burgers locations on naval bases will be giving away free Crispy Chicken Sriracha Sandwiches to all active military personnel and veterans.
White Castle: Military veterans and active duty military who show proof of service can visit a participating White Castle location on Friday, Nov 11th, and receive a free breakfast combo or castle combo meal #1-6.
Wienerschnitzel: On Veterans Day, 11/11/16, Wienerschnitzel offers a free Chili Dog with a small fry and a 20-ounce drink to Veterans and Active Duty Servicemembers. Bring your military ID or dress in a uniform.
Wild Wing Cafe: Military veterans, retirees, and active duty are offered a complimentary meal. Veterans may choose from any Awesome Salad, Wild Wrap, Beefy Burger or Chicken Sandwich. Please show proof of military service. Valid all day on 11.11.16 at participating locations.
World of Beer: On November 11th, 2016, all veterans and current servicemen and servicewomen may enjoy a free select draught beer (where legal) or $5 off their check.
Yard House: Veterans and active duty military will receive a complimentary appetizer on November 11, 2016 with valid military ID. Offer is valid for dine-in only.
Retail
AARP: AARP is offering up to a 30% membership discount for veterans, their families, and anyone interested in annual or multi-year memberships and renewals.
Alfred Angelo: Enjoy 30% off your bridal gown from Alfred Angelo.
Amazon: Offering 20% off of select apparel on Veterans Day. Promotion code: “20veterans”
American Family Care: AFC is offering military veterans free flu shots on Veterans Day, Friday, November 11.
Army & Air Force Exchange Service: Get Veterans Day deals on many items, including gift items starting on Nov. 10.
Army Corp of Engineers Recreation Areas: The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is waiving all day use fees at more than 2,400 recreation areas nationwide. This waiver is available to all veterans, active and reserve component service members, and their families. Only verbal confirmation of service is required.
Bed Bath & Beyond: U.S. Military and Veterans get 20% off Thursday, November 10th – Sunday, November 13th.
Brides Across America: During the month of November Brides Across America is partnering with bridal salons across the nation to giveaway wedding dresses to qualified military brides. All military brides must pre-register online.
Brooks Brothers: Nov. 8 – 11 enjoy 25% off all in store purchases to all active military personnel and veterans. Proof of military service required. Offer is valid 11/8/16 – 11/11/16 in U.S. and Canada.
Cabela’s Hometown Heroes: There is a 5% discount is for Military Personnel (active and retired military, active reservists and VA recipients) plus Law-Enforcement, Firefighters and Emergency Medical Service personnel (EMS) with proof of service. Cabela’s is hosting Hometown Heroes events. Check individual store events for Veterans Day activities and possible additional discounts.
Carmike Cinemas: On Veterans Day, those with a military ID will receive one free small bag of popcorn with the purchase of a movie ticket at the box office.
Cunard Cruise Lines: 2-for-1 savings on launch fares and up to $250 Onboard Credit available to active and retired military veterans on Transatlantic Crossings, Caribbean, South America, South Pacific, Australia & Asia and Panama Canal voyages.
Dell: This Veterans Day, former and current members save an additional 15% on select PCs and electronics.
Divi Resorts: Veterans, service members and their families can combine current sales offers with the Divi 20% military discount (up to 50% off).
Dollar General: 11% off total purchase in-store or online on Veterans Day for veterans and active military and their family members. Shop online with promo code AVAILABLE 11.11.16 Valid for participating locations and on qualifying purchases.
Enterprise Car Sales: In honor of Veterans Day this November, all active United States military members, veterans and dependents, will have included in their used vehicle purchase from Enterprise Car Sales, a Firestone prepaid maintenance package valued at $300.
FLAUNT Electric Vehicles: This Veteran’s Day, Active Duty & Veterans take an additional 20% off our normal 5% Military Discount between Nov. 10 – 12 and enjoy over $400 off all FLAUNT Electric Bicycles, in-store as well as online. Proof of military service is required. For online purchases, please call 1-(800)646-7616 for military service verification.
Fred’s Pharmacy: Offer valid November 11, 2016. 15% off your entire purchase.
Free Car Wash: (CALL AHEAD) ALL veterans and service personnel get a free car wash at participating locations. Every year Grace For Vets, a non-profit organization, unites the car wash industry in 4 countries (U.S., Canada, New Zealand, Australia) with this program.
Free Oil Change: (CALL AHEAD) Oil changes are free to Veterans and active duty armed forces members at many participating local oil change centers including participating name brand oil service centers. Call stores in your local area to confirm. Many are offering the free oil change for several days around Veterans Day.
Goodwill: Get 50% of all donated apparel with a valid military ID.
Great Clips Free Haircut: On Veterans Day, customers who come in for a haircut at any U.S. Great Clips salon will receive a free haircut card to give to an active/inactive/retired military member of any branch, including the National Guard. Veterans can also visit any U.S. Great Clips salon on November 11 to get either a free haircut that day or to pick up a free haircut card to use later.
Hair Cuttery: For every cut bought on Veterans Day, Hair Cuttery will donate a free haircut certificate to a Veteran.
Home Depot: Home Depot offers a free “Build a Veterans Day Jet” workshop for children ages 5-12 to help teach them about Veterans Day. Event is from 9am-12pm while supplies last. Register online, or arrive at the allotted time, while supplies last. A 10% discount is also offered to all other military veterans.
iPic Theatres: Veterans will receive one free premium ticket on 11/11 with a valid Military ID. Offer is not available online.
Jefferson Lines: Free bus travel on any Jefferson Lines schedules to all active military members and veterans in honor of Veteran’s Day on November 11, 2016.
JC Penney: All current and former military personnel can enjoy discounts off purchases on Veterans Day.
Jockey: Jockey is offering 25% off to active military, veterans and their families. Enter promo code MILITARY at checkout. Good thru 11/11/14.
Lowes Home Improvement: Lowes honors all Veterans on three specific holidays: Memorial Day, 4th of July and Veterans Day. During these three holiday weekends, Lowes extends the discount to all veterans who served honorably and who present a valid Form DD214 or other proof of service.
Main Event Bowling: Active or retired veterans can bowl free from open to 3pm on Friday, November 11th.
Meineke Free Oil Change: This Veterans Day, November 11, 2016, all veterans and active duty will receive a free Basic Oil Change* at participating Meineke locations.
Orangetheory Fitness: Free workouts for veterans on Veterans Day 2016, including up to two classes.
Publix: Active and retired military personnel and family members receive a 10 percent discount on Veteran’s Day. Proof of service required.
Rack Room Shoes: Military personnel and dependents get 10% off their entire purchase on Veterans Day, Memorial Day and 4th of July.
Red Roof Inn 15% Off All November: Veterans receive 15% off from January 19th to March 31st, 2017. Use VP Code 606732 when booking to receive the discount!. Don’t forget, Red Roof Inn is military and government friendly all year long, offering 10% off at locations nationwide. Who is eligible?: Active Duty, Veterans, Retirees, Reservists, Dependents.
Runnings: Active duty military and retirees will receive a 10 percent discount on Veterans Day, November 11th at all Runnings locations.
Seaworld Parks & Entertainment Veterans Discount: Veterans and Active Duty military receive location-based discounts or free admission. Veterans promotion includes SeaWorld Orlando, SeaWorld San Antonio, SeaWorld San Diego, Busch Gardens Tampa, Busch Gardens Williamsburg, and Sesame Place Langhorne. The program does not include Discovery Cove® in Orlando or Aquatica, SeaWorld’s WaterparkTM. Active Duty military members who already used their free admission for the year can also get 50% off tickets.
Sleep Number: Sleep Number is providing exclusive offers for current and past military personnel. Save $500-$700 on selected Sleep Number® mattress sets, or 20% – 30% off for other select sets, depending on the designated discount per product.
Sports Clips Free Haircut: Many Sport Clips locations will offer free haircuts to active-duty U.S. service members and veterans on Veterans Day, Friday, November 11, 2016, with valid proof of service.
Sword & Plough: All U.S. active duty military personnel, National Guard members, Reservists, veterans and Gold Star Spouses receive a 20% discount on all orders.
Tractor Supply Co: This Veterans Day, customers with a valid military ID or proof of service will receive 15 percent off their entire purchase at Tractor Supply.
TOPS Market: This Veterans Day, Friday, November 11, TOPS will honor an 11% discount off of a total order to all veterans and active military personnel who shop at any of their locations.
UFC GYM: UFC GYM is offering free total gym access to all veterans and active duty military as well as their families from November 11-13 at participating UFC GYMs.
Under Armour: Get 15% off & free shipping online. Offer valid for Military, Veterans & First Responders.
US National Park Service: The U.S. National Park Service is waiving fees at most of its day-use recreation sites over the Veterans Day holiday weekend. Google to find a national forest or grassland near you.
Walgreens: Offering a 20% discount to all Veterans, Active duty military, and their immediate families, on Veterans Day 2016. Must present a Walgreens Rewards card and valid Military ID or proof of service to receive discount on eligible items.
Western Union: Western Union is offering consumers the opportunity to make U.S. domestic money transfers — and transfers to and from U.S. military bases around the world where Western Union has a retail Agent location — for zero fee on Veterans Day using promo code HERO.
Westgate Resorts: Westgate Resorts is giving away 1,000 free vacations on Veterans Day. The first 1,000 eligible service members who complete the online military appreciation form and place a fully refundable $75 deposit will receive a complimentary three-day, two-night vacation for up to four people at Westgate Town Center Resort from May 5-7, 2017.
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